Someday I'll See Home...

Great is Thy Faithfulness

2006-11-18T10:56:00.000-06:00

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

This is it guys!!

2006-11-13T00:36:00.000-06:00

I'm going to CALIFORNIA!!! woo hoo...please pray for me and I will see you all (or most of you) next week!!! :D

I think I'm crazy...hahaha

2006-10-14T18:33:00.000-05:00

So right now I'm feeling pretty good, in fact I'm feeling great!!! I just ate dinner and have tons of energy. Woohoo. This week is over FINALLY! So I'd just like to talk about the word adapt for awhile. Down here they stress it a lot. The first week I heard it at least 100 times a day. They basically say some students can handle all the changes and are good adapters otherwise you fail....you can't handle it. I got real sick of that word real fast. It was mostly in Biology when my professor said it the most. It made me feel like some kind of animal in the zoo having to adapt to a new place. So, whatever. haha...I'm actually doing fine..."adapting" quite nicely. I have come to the realization that college students don't sleep, and I've accepted this. The first week I was defiant. They were not gonna make me stay up late!! There were some nights I went to bed at 8:30. Not anymore....now I go to bed normally at 3 in the morning....when I got in bed at 1:45 this thursday, I was rejoicing. Last night I didn't sleep at all!! I was too busy trying to win a challenge...which I did, hands down. SO....basically....after going to bed at 7 this morning...I had ten hours of beautiful sleep and woke up just in time to go to supper! My roommate made fun of me...but that's ok, I'm sure she was just jealous. Needless to say...the sun is setting now...so weird.... Anyway, if anyone decides they want to challenge me to stay up all night, well, just wait a little while, I don't want to become nocturnal. Sweet dreams everyone!

ok then..gosh

2006-10-07T21:57:00.000-05:00

Well I'm gonna write another post because anonymous posters bother me when they have nothing nice to say. Good grief. College is good...life is good...God is good. It's all good. What is there to say really? I'm liking biology a lot, and I don't miss home nearly as much. Fire hydrants are an interesting concept that I haven't fully grasped yet. Anyway, I'm done...it was just time for another post.

my life so far....

2006-09-15T09:38:00.000-05:00

Ok, so of course college is hard...in fact it seems absolutely impossible sometimes...how about all the time! Good grief, I am frustrated and upset about how I'm doing in my classes so this weekend I really need to work. The first weekend here I got really sick and slept until 3:30. Needless to say I really didn't get anything accomplished. I hate that. hmmm....There are ups and there are downs, I'm trying to keep everything in perspective. ok...my thoughts really are not flowing together today. I do like the schedule a lot here. Most of my classes are in the morning so I get done around 12-1 each day. Mondays I have a three hour lab, so I'm not usually done until 5. Chemistry is by far the most frustrating and difficult subject. When I do the homework I understand it, but when it comes to quizzes, well let's just say...ick. For the most part my classes are interesting, even chemistry is becoming more intriguing to me (even though I suck). My favorite class however, has nothing to do with my major. I love Essential Christianity. At first I wasn't too thrilled about it and I thought my professor looked like some evil dictator. He's actually very cool. Too bad I only have that class twice a week. I like calculus too, but unfortunately I don't know how to use a graphing calculator yet. In all reality, today you don't really need to know how to do calculus, they just need to offer a class on how to use the calculator. It cost me 50 stinking dollars! So yeah...maybe I'll take all three semesters now instead of just one, just so I can get the use out of it. More than anything else down here, I think it will improve my spiritual life. Chapel is awesome and I love the worship. It's like going to church everyday. People are really nice and I've learned a few names now, but no friends yet really. It kinda stinks, but I really am not here to be social. So yeah...that's me right now. I miss home and all of you a ton. So yeah...stinks. By the way...for the post I did a little while ago...the really long one that you may not have read, I am deeply sorry if I forgot anyone. It was not my intention to leave anyone out and now that I think of it there are probably many people that I could have written about. I'm so grateful for everyone in my life, I am truly blessed. I'll probably talk to most of you this weekend cause during the week is really not the best time. So...this is really not a very interesting post at all...I just hadn't written in a while...I guess that's how I usually am. Thanks to anyone and everyone who's written Jared. I think he's doing very well. He is sick, but he seems to be in good spirits. So whatever encouragement you could write him I'm sure would be appreciated. Ok, so there is one last thing...for all those who care to know, Josh Groban is coming out with a new album on November 7. It's been three very long years since his last one and this news made me very excited. So yeah, I'm excited. Well...I'm gonna go to chapel now. Sorry for the mess of this post, hopefully the next one will be improved. so yeah...I'm going now.

COLLEGE

2006-08-29T18:41:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! I'm in college now. It seems so strange and home seems so distant. I'll tell you all more about it later, but today I finally got Jared's address!!! I'm so excited and I just thought I'd share that with you all. If someone didn't get it you can ask me if you want it. Anyway, I'm sure he'd love getting tons of letters as bootcamp can't be loads of fun. I have to go now. I'll be calling you or emailing some of you soon. Love you all a lot and I haven't forgotten you.

Compelled to write once more

2006-08-24T23:51:00.000-05:00

To all my friends, I must write. I've been trying to stay pretty emotionally stable through all these changes. I don't know how many of you have seen the fox and the hound, but I've been thinking about the last scene in it. "Copper? You're my best friend." "And you're mine too, Tod." "And we'll be friends forever, won't we?" "Yeah, forever" I love that part of the movie. I don't know, It hasn't hit me I'm leaving yet. As far as I'm concerned I'll wake up tomorrow, watch some tv, hang out with friends, wait for Jared to call me for us to go somewhere. And most of us resist change. It just seems like it was all right and good and now it must change. My room has been emptied, loaded into the back of the van to be deposited of in another state. I don't know if I'll ever be able to say everything I want to those who mean the most to me, but let me just try before another perfect moment slips away.

Hilary-I don't even know if you read this, but just in case... I know most of the time it doesn't seem like it and it doesn't seem like I hang out with you as much as others, but you're at the top of my list of favorite people in this world. I've pretty much been there your whole life, so I know all about your awkward stages and various lists, things we used to do together, how I hated sharing a room with you, and your disgusting feet :) (If I think about it hard enough, they're not all that horrible). No matter what happens I know you'll always be there to talk to and will listen to me. So what if you actually have a bed time and listen to weird music, I never said you were normal. There will be times I'll just be thinking to myself about how glad I am you're my sister. I'm sure we'll still get in stupid arguments or you'll comment on how horrible a driver I am (which isn't far from the truth....just be careful...you're driving now). Anyway, you're like my best friend, and whether you like it or not I'm pretty sure I'll be here most of your life. I'm looking forward to having family dinners together and watching each others kids (if you have any of course). I think there's a ton to look forward to. Thanks for always being there for me.

Tirzah-Oh what crazy fun times we've had. Whether it's playing in the cornfield or getting into very random discussions. I remember thinking you were so weird when I first met you. That first birthday party I went to of yours it felt so odd that I was invited. I never guessed we'd actually become friends. We've had tons of fun times I'll never forget. Like doing weird stuff in a cemetery when it's dark out, mary kay parties, or trying dresses on and taking ridiculous pictures. Next year is gonna be kinda weird without you.

Rebecca-I don't think I could have survived highschool without you. You're the first person who ever introduced themselves to me at faith. I remember thinking that there was no way I'd be stuck with you as someone to hang out with, and I hoped there were more normal people at school. Let's just say first impressions have to always be wrong. You've been there for me through the emotional roller coaster of growing up. Jr. high, I don't know how you put up with me. I don't know how I put up with me. I'm so glad you did. I'm so glad you were so open and told me how it was. And yes....you are usually right. I've always looked up to you and have hoped that some of you has rubbed off on me. I hope when I have a little girl (if I do), that she will be a lot like you. You were a sacrificial friend and put up with a lot of crap from me. There's a ton I could say. None of which would sound quite as profound as I would like. Thanks for not giving up on me and letting me sink into myself.

Natasha-What can I say? I worry about you and I pray for you. You brought so much fun and many good experiences in my life last year. I'm not going to forget you. Don't forget the basics. Don't forget the victories. Don't forget those who love you and would do anything for you. I wish things didn't get so mixed up with us. It seems pretty petty and dumb right now. I'm sorry, I truly am. There are so many more important things and one of the biggest things for me right now is that I want to help you. I'm afraid I don't know how or that I can't. You've come so far, I beg of you, don't forget that ever. Stop going back.

Meg-You were always there for me. You listened to me over and over again and I never felt conflicted talking to you. Again, you were one of those people I didn't think I could be friends with. I'm feeling pretty dumb about now.... Who knew we were neighbors all these years? I really have no idea what I would have done without you last year. I think I would have died from my own insanity. So I decided to let you put up with some of my insanity. You've become one of my most true friends. I would trust you with basically everything. You would keep any secret for me and you have a way of making me feel better when I feel down. You take my mind off of whatever is keeping me down, you make me smile and laugh. I'm so glad we became friends, so very very glad.

Jordan-You make me laugh. We've had plenty of interesting times just eating lunch...you, me, and Meg. Crazy times. I thought you were such a dork when you came...hehehe. I guess you didn't turn out too horribly. I'll always think of very odd things when I think about you. Lunch just won't be the same next year.

Joe-Sometimes I don't know what to make of you. Thanks for talking to me the other night. It was just what I had needed. You can be a really cool guy at times. Of course then I think of the many times you came up behind me and scared me. Then I think of that one time I poured pop all over you....one of my finest moments if I do say so myself :) It still makes me laugh. Keep growing and changing and becoming better and stronger. I hope to talk to you again someday.

Jared-I know you can't read this now, and who knows if you'll read this later, but I certainly don't want to leave you out. I can't believe how far we have come. I never would have guessed things could happen as they have. I certainly hoped for it, but never thought we would actually ever be together. Thank you for talking to me, thank you for listening to me, thank you for everything. Life seems so different without you now. I miss you and I'm praying for you. There were so many times I just wished for time to stop, to freeze. I think we've gotten through a few rough times. Enough for me anyway. I believe with all my heart that what will be, will be. I miss you and you had better come back to me. I don't want you to change too much. I know inevitably some things will change, but I loved who you were before you left to save the world. I put you into God's hands.

I know all that is completely insufficient for what you all have truly meant to me. I don't know what's going to happen. Of course I don't want to lose your friendships and of course I want to see you again. But growing up makes certain things difficult. I just want you all to know you've impacted my life in so many ways. I admire all of you and hope part of all of you has become part of me. Maybe I can leave part of me with all of you too. I'm not one for deep, heartwarming words, and I'm sure some of this could come out in a way that was unintentional. Know that every word I said was with the best intentions and all sincerity. I'm not going to forget you. I'm sure I'll see many of you again. I'm praying for you, pray for me. We are all changing, and just since school got out three months ago so much has happened. It's crazy to think about what could happen in the rest of our lives. Without all of you I really wouldn't be the person I am now. I love you all so very much. I'm going to miss you. E-mail me, call me, I'm bound to get homesick, so please, whenever you feel compelled talk to me. The tears will come later...let it all hit me first. I can't believe this is the end of this chapter of our lives. I'm excited and scared as I'm sure many of you are as well. I'm gonna let God write this chapter. Pray that I grow in His strength and wisdom. I love Him more than I ever thought I could. I thank Him for His mercy and grace. Without Him my life is meaningless.

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers with me of grace. For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."
Philippians 1:3-11

I love you guys!

I am currently unemployed

2006-08-16T21:36:00.000-05:00

Feels really strange. Goodbye corn, goodbye Culver's. WOOHOO. I am gonna miss my paycheck a ton though. Oh man guys, I don't want to grow up! I'll probably post again soon. But don't nag me, because that's annoying, and it's my blog, so if I feel inspired, I'll write, if not, learn about my life someway else. Anyway, summer's been good. It's over now. Time to get back to reality. So long.

I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy....

2006-07-14T23:15:00.000-05:00

Sigh...what to say what to say...except that I'm an idiot concerning using a car....ANYWAY...ask me more about that later. haha.

Well I am posting but I'm not feeling very inspired except for the fact that I am using my new laptop in my room on my bed to type this...so I had to celebrate somehow. Computers are complicated for people like me who aren't savvy in such things. Actually I haven't really been using the computer much at all because I've taken up the hobby of reading. And when there is a good book to read and your computer is slow...reading is way better. ~sigh~ I just finished three wonderful books. I'm kind of sad they're over. Now I must go to the library before they hunt me down for their overdue books. I'll talk to ya'll later...I'm off to another world.

Naps are boring

2006-06-28T09:27:00.000-05:00

okay...so a few things have been going on lately. First of all I went to college last week for pre-registration. I am so much more excited about college now. The campus is a lot prettier than I remembered and the people there are super friendly and helpful. I really think I am going to like it a lot. The only reservation I have about it now is leaving all the friends I already have and trying to make new friends. Hopefully I'll get a good roommate...I'll be finding that out next week supposedly. Oh...also the fact that I have to somehow find a ride back and forth during the holidays...hopefully I won't have to hitchhike or anything crazy like that...haha...jk jk...maybe..
So, here's my schedule

BIBL 111/12-Essential Christianity
BIOL 200/1-Biological Science
BIOL 200/54-Biological Science Lab
CHEM 111/1-General Chemistry
CHEM 111/51-General Chemistry Lab
CHEM 111/52-General Chemistry Problems
GSCI 100/1-Freshman Seminar-biol/chem
MATH 231/1-Calculus and Analytical Geometry 1
MATH 231/51-Calculus and Analytical Geometry 1 Problems

As you can probably tell a lot of the classes are tied together. I really like the schedule for college too...you know getting out around one except one day and not having class after class after class...I'm excited in case you couldn't tell. Lots of science and math woohoo. We'll see how that goes for me.

So besides all this college junk summers going well. Work isn't so horrible sometimes either. Last night was actually kind of....fun. Never thought I would say that. Next week my family is leaving on the fourth of July (of all days) to go to Chicago/Gurnie Mills. We've been there before so I'm not like dying to go or anything, but it will be a lot of fun. They have a HUGE mall there (from what I remember) and shopping is always good...I did that the other night, it made me really happy. I think I could go on and on and on about things for awhile, but you all would get bored quickly I'd imagine. So I'm done. now.

My blog is going to take a nap

2006-06-22T09:39:00.000-05:00

AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! We're all gonna DIE!!!

2006-06-12T22:48:00.000-05:00

Well...were to start, were to start. So, life has been pretty eventful...nothing I'm gonna post here, but I thought you would all be happy to know that I am learning to have a life compared to previous summers in my life. Nothing that new or exciting...oh wait...there is one thing....

MY SISTER IS LEARNING TO DRIVE!!!!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!

It is a very scary thought...especially if she turns out to be anything like me...ahem..yeah...oh dear. Anyway, I was driving with her today on the way home from work and for some reason she doesn't like to stay on the road...which is understandable, I had the same problem, but at the same time it a very scary thing to experience while riding in the passengers seat. My Dad decided to take her driving again tonight so they took my car....he almost almost let me drive his car...man, that would have been cool, although I'm kinda shocked he'd even consider it...especially if you think about the little...ahem...incident that occured last week. Moving on. I got stuck with the van, which is still better than my car because it has a cd player, but it was weird to drive because it was so high up. I'm just looking forward to the day when experience makes me a better driver and I can get a car with a pretty color, satellite radio, sunroof and a cd changer, heated seats are nice too...anyway, besides that...who cares? haha, jk jk.

This Summer

2006-06-01T11:54:00.000-05:00

For some reason, this summer seems a lot more relaxing to me than summers past. Last summer I had stuff going on about every week in June and July only for school to start back in August. This first week off however has been, for the most part, pretty refreshing. I've been able to read and get sleep and work in the evenings but not too much. I asked for more hours so now its four to five days a week instead of one or two. Anyway, its been pretty nice. My room is still a mess and I started my laundry today. (I haven't done laundry since before senior trip). It's nice to have extra time in the mornings too. For some reason I haven't been able to sleep past nine so I get up and do my devotions. Its nice cause I don't have to worry about the time or about being somewhere at a specific time. I've also given up secular music for the summer too. I don't think its evil or anything, but I do think that since that was mostly what I listened to it had affected what I thought about. It's weird, cause now that I changed the buttons in my car to Christian stations and listen to praise and worship cds now, my thoughts are more often where they need to be. It's nice to have a Christian song stuck in my head now. Anyway, that's just something I'm doing this summer. I'm sure things will pick up here soon and once again my life will be busy. Later this month I'm going to Evangel to pre-register and set up all the financial junk that comes with it. Then we have our annual family vacation to wherever...not sure where yet. Then sometime in July or August I'm going with my Mom to Ohio. My sister didn't want to go with us, much to my dissappointment. Oh well. So far it's been great, and its only the first week.

Remember When It Rained

2006-05-26T22:40:00.000-05:00

Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do

Oh, oh, remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Oh, oh, remember when it rained
In the darkness I remain
Running down...

Tears of hope run down my skin
Tears for you that will not dry
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die

Oh, oh, remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Oh, oh, remember when it rained
In the water I remain
Running down...

~Josh Groban~

My favorite Josh Groban song in the world....those of you who don't like him don't leave any rude comments...I'll delete them.

Allergies

2006-05-19T16:58:00.000-05:00

So right now I'm surrounded by a mountain of kleenaxes and toilet paper because my nose refuses to make me very happy. Because of the average temperature at this time of year, we open up our windows. Almost instantaneously the smell of grass reaches my nose. ugg. As soon as I think my nose has gotten rid of any type of mucus there I go searching for another place to blow my nose. Seriously, my two trashcans in my room are overflowing from tissues, not too mention the ones I have by my bed, on the floor and on my bathroom counter. I have now finished off my kleenax box and a whole roll of toilet paper, so I retreated downstairs to get more of each and vent on here about such a hardship. At one point of my life I took medicine for it and three allergy shots about every week of my life. (They couldn't fit everything I was allergic to in just one shot). What I hate almost as much as blowing my nose is having all the snot go to the back of my throat and mix with my saliva making my spit really thick to swallow. Ok, so this is all a little gross, but at least you aren't having to go through it. If you are going through it, then you can identify with me and know that as gross as it is, its the truth. Allergies stink. Actually, how would I know since I can't smell anything anyway!!! ~sigh~ I'm done.

No Time

2006-05-13T22:43:00.000-05:00

Senior trip and Jr./Sr. have come and gone. Good and bad things have happened. I'd love to write extensively on both subjects, but unfortunately the time allotted to me has run out and I must continue with this thing called my life. I mean really, who has time to write??

Hmmmm....thinking

2006-04-23T22:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went to fine arts for my church. If there were one thing I wish I could change right now is that I wish I was more involved with my church and the people there and things that go on, cause its awesome. Anyway, I didn't win there, but it was all good, cause I got to watch some really cool things. They have these things called human videos where people interpret the song as it plays through actions while lip singing it. It's really cool. They did this one to the song "Run" by Kutless. I don't know if I would have liked the song as much without watching the human video. Basically it the song was God speaking to us telling us that He's just waiting for us to pay attention to Him. They went through different scenes. One there was a girl plugged into her headphones and dancing around, another there was a girl on the phone talking away, another there were a couple guys busily playing video games. The guy who lip sang the song was the guys who was speaking as God, and he was above them all just sad and begging his children to listen to him. They pushed him around and at the end they crucified him. I nearly cried. It really got to me. Cause I know God is screaming at me begging for attention, He created me for Himself and I am so spread apart in other areas He gets what little time I have left all the time. I know I fail, I continue to fail, I'll fail again. And I continue to break His heart. ~sigh~ It's kind of crazy to think about how great our relationship with the Lord would be if we'd put off all the other things that take up our time. I mean, by next year I could care less who wins American Idol. Why am I not more concerned with "laying up treasures in heaven?" The answers are all there for me to find, I am just too busy to let God talk to me. It's pretty sad. I want to grow, I need to grow, but will I? Or will I choose to remain stagnant and useless for Christ? I need You're strength Lord. I'm sure it'd mean a lot more to you all if you saw what I was talking about, but that's kind of what I've been thinking about lately...and other things, and well, I'll inform you all when I have all the answers. haha. Don't wait around too long for that. Anyway, here are the lyrics to that song, if you ever get the chance, listen to it.

"Run"

Why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know I
just, just want to be with you.

Looking down from above as you watch TV
Wondering why, oh you're ignoring me
Do you remember, remember when I came to you
And you loved me
And I'm waiting for you
And I'm waiting for you

Why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know I
just, just want to be with you, to be with you
Hey, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know
I just, just want to be with you, to be with you...

Whatever happened to the love, the love you had for me
When you first came to me
Don't you know that I died, died so I could be with
you forever.
And I'm waiting for you
And I'm waiting for you

Find a place of solitude, and I'll speak to you
As you pray to me
Don't you know I'm waiting here, waiting for you to
read and hear my words
I'm waiting here missing the time the times we shared
oh, please come to me

So, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know I
just, just want to be with you, to be with you
Hey, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know
I just, just want to be with you, to be with you...
~Kutless~

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming

2006-04-11T15:21:00.000-05:00

You know, I always thought, or at least hoped that I would be able to be a senior who didn't slow down at the end, who finished strong, who was able to stay undisturbed from talk of the future. Well, let me just say, that's not working too well for me. I am tired of school, I am tired of tests, and projects, planning senior trip, figuring college stuff out, looking into other jobs, I am just tired of all this noise around me. This year is just really different than any year before. The reality of moving out of my house and my room is finally hitting me, and I just can't imagine what it'll be like. I hope Missouri is a nice state. I'm excited about starting a new chapter and finishing highschool once and for all....well that's still pending on whether or not I finish government/econ. Oh man. The weather is really getting to me too. Who wants to concentrate on learning when its 70 degrees outside? And as ready as I am for graduation and summer, at the same time I know these are the last few days I'll ever have at Faith with my friends altogether, and I know it will never be the same after this year, so I'm trying to just stay positive and enjoy what's left, because eventually it will be over. Bittersweet is a good word. I am definitely ready for a change though.

Inspiration Has Run Dry

2006-03-28T08:39:00.001-06:00

I think my blog is slowly dwindling away. I know longer feel compelled to write. I suppose that is partly do to the fact that all use of a computer has been limited to the one I use at school. I also just don't have anything to write. I need to clean my room.

OK, ok...so this is a little late

2006-03-13T16:10:00.000-06:00

About a month ago I went on a small excursion to the Caribbean Sea. My whole family went including my grandparents and my older brother (for those of you who don't know, I have an older brother who is 30?...I think that's how old he is) Anyway, I had been to the Caribbean before but the more western/Mexican side. This time we went to the eastern Caribbean and visited islands that were more Dutch/French. For those of you who have never been on a cruise ship I'll kinda explain how it works. First of all you go to port where all these other huge ships are and you wait in long long lines to board the boat security takes forever and they give you these little plastic cards that bear the resemblance of credit cards. That's the only way you are able to pay for anything on the ship or use computers or absolutely anything. If you lose that card, you're basically in trouble. I still have mine...just in case...lol. So after we wait and finally get to our really small rooms that are shared by four people we explore the ship and see what's all on it. Ours had 15 stories I think but only about 10 of them were accessible to everyone. After convincing my Mom that no crazy murderer was going to kill us and leave a puddle of blood on the floor, my sister and I preceded to go to the top decks. Unfortunately, it had rained and it was really slippery and I was wearing flip flops...I about fell at least ten times. We instantly went to the food place where they had pizza, burgers, and hot dogs constantly. The food is included in the whole package so you don't have to keep paying for stuff, and its always available to you...which isn't good, I probably gained weight...but I didn't check when I got home so we'll never know...haha. We soon discovered the ship contained a large outdoor movie screen, tennis court, two running tracks, a gym, spa, various eating places and an extra large chess board...I didn't see anyone use it at anytime though...guess that goes to show how popular chess is. Every night the main thing is eating (go figure) in the large dining rooms. Here you dine for probably 2 hours on anywhere from 5-7 courses. It's a bit insane, but I had fun taking pictures during that time and the waiters were fun and personable, not to mention many of them were from Italy :) Most of the food was in a different language and I just guessed each night, they had some weird stuff...especially the desserts, they were pretty, but I wasn't particularly fond of any of them. After dinner there were three different things I'd usually do: 1.) go to the theater and watch the singers and dancers 2.) watch a movie on the huge screen, or 3.) walk outside alone listening to my ipod and staring at the ocean...that was my favorite.

There were three ports of call the ship stopped by and I'll try to briefly describe all of them...I know this post could get to be a little long and a little boring...I apologize, I haven't posted a long post in awhile though you know. The first place we stopped was St. Maartin. It wasn't my favorite, mainly cause the weather was pretty crappy while we were there. Basically I went with my Mom, sister, and Grandma to every jewelry shop on that small island collecting various jewels, coins, cds, linen, and whatever else along the way, it was all free though. A couple days later we went to St. Thomas. At first it turned out to be exactly like St. Maartin...going around to jewelry stored seeing tons of valuable jewelry (it was all beautiful but after awhile it all looked the same to me) and just walking around looking for free things. I collected I few stones including a sapphire, ruby and tanzanite. So we were walking down this road and I was TIRED of looking at jewelry so I saw this alley and it went to the ocean and I saw the beach and finally convinced my Dad to let me, my sister, and my little brother spend the rest of the time there. So we did, the water was blue and not too cold and the sun was shining and it was absolutely wonderful. The last port of call we went to was the Princess Cays which is a small island of the Bahamas owned by the Princess cruise line, which was what my ship was. It was just our ship who was there for the day so it was pretty private and they set up this huge outdoor cookout for us. I took a ton of pictures there and the sand was white and the water clear and blue, like you see in the pictures. I got a slight tan that day. That's one of the things I miss most about no summer...not having a tan...sigh. That day was fun. Then we went home and I went back to reality, but good news, there's less than three months left till graduation! I hope I'm able to live until then.

Pictures

2006-03-13T15:33:00.000-06:00

Ft. Lauderdale...where we began
The inside of the ship.

A very large chess board
Our waiter from ITALY.

Looking down a street in St. Maartin
They had shows every night, this one they are mimicing Liberace.

The Princess Cays
Our ship was the one on the left, they're enormous.

A couple ominous pictures.

We got a little sick of fancy ship food.
We also hadn't had pop for the longest time...it was rough. jk.

A post with cords on it, I thought it looked cool.

This was the view of St. Thomas from the ship, a small part of it anyway

2 Corinthians 2:7-10 (NKJV)

2006-03-09T09:11:00.000-06:00

7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.

8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.

9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Some Days Are Diamonds

2006-03-02T21:06:00.000-06:00

Some days are diamonds, some days are stone
Some time the hard times won't leave you alone
Some times the cold winds blow a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds, some days are stone
~John Denver~

Steve Green

2006-02-26T21:13:00.000-06:00

Last night I went to Kokomo Indiana to see Steve Green in concert. I know that might seem a little old fashioned to some. Well, my parents had me listen to him since I was little. Then they were much more restrictive on what entered my mind. I'm not complaining though. I really enjoyed hearing him. He has an amazing voice and can hit some really high notes. Anyway that's what I did last night. I'm kinda testing out putting on pictures from my camara on here cause I'm still figuring it all out. So the format is kinda weird and kinda annoying as well, but just as I got over it, you will too

Art Class

2006-02-22T15:01:00.000-06:00

Last period today was seventh period since we had that weird assembly thing for black history month. So my last class was art. Now, I haven't been so much into art this year as I have previously, but it is a nice break from the mundane routine of sitting through another class and listening to lectures. Usually the time is spent working on whatever project we have at the moment and talking with each other. Its pretty fun because I get to sit with two of my best friends Rebecca and Natasha. Now I don't know how the topic came up between those two, but I just sat and listened for awhile because, well I don't know, I'd rather just listen. But they were talking about friendships and all that being a friend entailed. It was actually rather insightful. Rebecca is a pretty wise person, go to her if you ever need advice, just don't overwhelm her now because I don't want her to kill me. Anyway, I was just listening and the question was brought up of how close you allow others to get to you or something like that and what it really meant to be a friend. And I've thought about all this before, but I guess this just added new insight. She brought up the verse where it says "iron sharpens iron" and said that we are not in the relationship because we can tell them everything or because they are the ones we can go to when we need help, we are their friends because we care about them and want to build them up. The relationship can't be out of selfishness or it just won't work. It was a rebuke to me, because I know I'm selfish, it's something I am trying to work on. Their whole conversation just got me thinking, and I'm not saying it all as well as they were, but hopefully you got the general idea. I have to say though, I pick out pretty good friends...I don't know how I got so lucky.

I'm working on another post so this will have to do for now

2006-02-21T01:10:00.000-06:00

**Yesterday did you?**
1. Talk to someone you liked: yeah
2. Buy something: no
3. Get sick: no
4. Sing: of course
5. Thought about someone you cared about: mmhmm
6. Cried: almost
7. Got in trouble: yeah...my dad keeps saying i need to clean my room
8. Talk to an ex: no
9. Miss someone: yeah

***Last person who...***
10. Slept in your bed: me, then before that natasha
11. Saw you cry: probably my sister
12. Made you cry: myself
13. Went to the movies with: to the actual theater...my little brother, but on saturday i saw one with jared
14. You went to the mall with? timothy becker
15. Said "I Love You" and meant it: one of my parents
16. Ever been in a fight with your pet: my cat kept getting on this desk i'm using now and was rubbing all over it getting cat hair everywhere. i picked it up and put it on the floor and it'd just hop back up. now im gonna have a runny nose and ichy eyes

17. Been to California: to an airport in california if that counts...but i think i'm going this summer
18. Been to Mexico: 3 times
19. Been to Canada: 2 times
20. Been to Europe: someday i will indeed go to europe

**Random**
21. Do you have a crush on someone: i suppose you could call it that...but i've never been overly fond of that word
22. What book are you reading now? battle cry for a generation
23. Best feeling in the world: laughing
24. Future kids names: well if i have kids...isabella rose, sydney elaine, ian alexander, and vincent allen...although i'm pretty sure those won't go over the best with whoever i marry
25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: occasionally
26. What's under your bed: not really anything
27. Favorite sports to watch: figure skating if that counts, but nothing else
28. Location: Lafayette, IN
29. Piercing/Tattoos: two in each ear...that's four
30. What are you most scared of right now: having to go to school tomorrow and being tired all day again...i hate that feeling
31. Where do you want to get married? outside
32. Who do you really hate? people with high egos
33. Do you have a job: Culver's Lafayette "taste how much we care" blah
34. Do you like being around people: sometimes, i like spending time alone a lot too
35. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with: who hasn't?
36. Have you ever cried: of course
37. Are you lonely right now: a little...i didn't really talk to anyone tonight...not even my family i just went to bed and then woke up and couldn't sleep so now i'm here at 2:30 am...sigh
38. Song that's stuck in your head right now: "wait for me" by hall and oates
39. Played strip poker: no
40. Gotten beaten up: not really
42. Been on radio/TV: i don't think so
43. Been in a mosh-pit: no
44. Wishin you were with someone right now? yeah

what to say

2006-02-12T23:36:00.000-06:00

So, I've returned. yay. It was a good trip, it really was, I had fun. I'll try posting about it later with pictures possibly. Right now all I can think about is school. I'm not dreading the senior thesis anymore. The topic I have is interesting to me and when I went to research it I got 18 books. I felt a little rediculous walking out of the library though.

Mainly right now...I've been thinking way too much again. Time seems to have stopped. And I am ready to graduate. I need to move on. Ask me what all this means later. I really don't feel like explaining right now. sigh.

I hate to say this...but, goodbye

2006-02-02T19:21:00.000-06:00

Yes, that is right, I am leaving. I am leaving on a jet plane, can't say when I'll be back again. Actually, it'll be next week sometime, but we're not going to talk about that. I hope you all have a wonderful week doing whatever you do, and I hope the weather stays nice for you. Hopefully I will be able to take lots of pictures and figure out how to get them on the computer. I don't really have anything else to say...but I'll tell you all about my journey when I return.

Pringles

2006-01-31T21:03:00.000-06:00

For those of you who are unaware, I love pringles. They have always been an important part of my life. When I was just a young girl we had pringles but I was only aloud to eat ten of them each day...sometimes if I was good they would let me eat twelve.

Well, when I came home the other day, I entered my room, and there sitting on my desk was a beautiful red can of pringles. This made me extremely happy because I haven't had them in for ever. I forgot how much I loved them. There are so many reasons why I love them. And I think they are good in every flavor...even salt and vinegar.

If you are one of those people...

2006-01-29T13:25:00.000-06:00

Who likes to laugh at other's misfortunes, than here you go. Yesterday I woke up dreading having to get out of bed. I had to go to ISSMA and sing for FMT and I had to sing a solo as well. I end up finally getting out of bed at a later hour than I should have in the first place, but its not like I was in a hurry to be miserable...yeah...I was having a bad attitude about it all. Anyway I needed to find my accompaniment cd for my piece so I did found out it worked and hurried along my way so I could be punctual. I race over to Jeff HS cause that's where I was sure it was. There was no doubt in my mind. I enter the building upon arriving puzzling at the fact that there is a wrestling match going on in the gym. So I get out my map to start searching for the room I'm supposed to go to. I walked around a little but alas, no one looked like they were getting ready to perform or anything. I decided then that I should go ask someone to help find where I was supposed to go. There was a security guard nearby so I showed him my map and asked him which direction I needed to go, he looked down at the paper and pointed at the top where it said Harrison, not Jeff and told me I was at the wrong school. Well, that sure came as a shock to me. I had no idea where Harrison was so I called someone and they gave me directions and I finally arrived in one piece, just about an hour late though...no big deal. The next thing I had to do was find that room I was supposed to sing, and sure enough, I did. I go and set up my cd player and everything, introduce myself, take a deep breath ready to sing...but my cd started skipping. Sigh. And I had even made sure that morning it worked. So after much trouble and after singing for the girls group I go back to the room and wait there for probably a half hour waiting for the judge to return, he was a really odd judge too. Fortunately, Miss Hill graciously agreed to play for me and that part of my life soon ended. After everything else was finished it was time to leave and I went to get my keys out. Unfortunately for me, my keys were lost not to be found anywhere, but I do have a good friend, Meg, who lives close to me and she was able to give me a ride. My Dad wasn't too pleased at the whole fact that I had lost my keys though. After getting the spare set and calling work telling them I would be late, my Dad took me to get my car. AHHH...I am so glad that day is over...so very very glad.

Today was a lot better. Again I had to sing for FMT, but this time it wasn't for competition or anything, just for service at the Second Baptist Church. We were told the service was only going to last about an hour, but instead it really lasted for two and a half hours. The time went by fairly fast and everyone there was very spirited and alive. I had never been to an almost nearly all black church before, but I wouldn't mind going back, worship was awesome and they loved us. I liked watching the facial expressions of the Leffews and Mr. Hiem. It was a lot of fun though.

All in all this weekend felt like it went by in no time and I still need to get my art all ready for the in-house competition, come up with a thesis, some notecards, and write part of the Spanish play. If I could start this year all over, I'm not so sure I would take Spanish. Its the hardest class I've ever taken. It almost reaches the point of impossibility, but oh well. This week needs to end. So, now that you all are bored out of your minds reading about my life you may all go resume your own.

Before the Day

2006-01-23T04:01:00.000-06:00

Last night when I was sleeping, You were watching over me

While I dreamt about tomorrow, You knew my every need
Now another day is waiting for me to make it through
And there's no way I can face it without You

Before the day slips away, I want to stop and say
I love You
I love You
Before the world rushes in again, I want to stop and say
There's none above You
There's none above You
I'll just be still and know that You are God
Be still and know that You are God

There's something about the morning, the stillness of it all
That cause my heart to hear You, when You gently call
Now another day is waiting for me to make it through
And there's no way I can face it without You

Before the day slips away, I want to stop and say
I love You
I love You
Before the world rushes in again, I want to stop and say
There's none above You
There's none above You
I'll just be still and know that You are God
Be still and know that You are God

Here I am in Your presence
Where I long to be alone with You in the silence
Rain down Your love and Your mercy, whisper softly to me

Before the day slips away I want to stop and say
I love You
I love You
Before the day slips away I want to stop and say
I love You
I love You
Before the day slips away I want to stop and say
I love You
I love You
Before the world rushes in again I want to stop and say
There's none above You
There's none above You
I'll just be still and know that You are God
Be still and know that You are God

~Newsong~

I don't understand...

2006-01-21T22:21:00.000-06:00

I don't understand why kids starve everyday, and I throw away leftovers
I don't understand why people fight and argue
I don't understand why everything has to be so complicated
I don't understand why starting a task seems like such an awful feat
I don't understand why Jesus just can't come back right now and take us to heaven
I don't understand why we make things more difficult than they really are
I don't understand why best friends could give up and forget everything
I don't understand why I find more time for our friends and hardly ever see my family
I don't understand why people are always in such a hurry
I don't understand why games are scheduled on days we have off
I don't understand why we have to study literature...or history for that matter
I don't understand why crying makes you feel better
I don't understand why no matter how hard you try at something...you still might fail
I don't understand why we say hurtful things and never ask forgiveness
I don't understand why I can't figure out how to not slip on ice...or gravel (in a car)
I don't understand why people think abortion is ok
I don't understand why people don't think before they do something
I don't understand why its so hard to say something that is so necessary
I don't understand why distance is sometimes best
I don't understand why growing up has to be so hard and how change is best
I don't understand why whenever some conflict comes up I feel sick
I don't understand why I'm never hungry anymore and can't seem to usually eat
I don't understand why putting things off seems easier
I don't understand why people love sports so much
I don't understand why you can feel fine at one moment and the next you just want to cry
I don't understand so many more things...I could go on and on and on and....
(Big drawn out sigh)

Back to work

2006-01-14T21:32:00.000-06:00

Well after three weeks of not having to smell like grease, getting custard all over me, and cleaning the bathrooms, I returned to work at my register one position at Culver's. It wasn't so bad actually...kinda like a break from everything else, I almost even enjoyed it. Early in the evening this one woman came in and if she wasn't she sure looked like a witch. She had this weird black robe on with lace edges and a witch-looking hat that was pointed on top, a black wig on and it was just interesting. So I took her order and she asked for the grilled chicken, but I wasn't completely sure that's what she'd asked for so I repeated it, but instead of saying "grilled chicken" I said "grilled children." I felt really dumb after that and just hurried with the rest of her order hoping she wasn't really a witch. Surprisingly, I also got paid today twice. I had asked if I had any checks before break and they said no, but I came back and they threatened to take my checks if I didn't take them home tonight. It was a pleasant surprise.

Onto other things. This week was spirit week and Friday was homecoming, so it was pretty busy to say the least. I know this next week teachers are going to be dumping tons of work on us. I already have two tests when I come back on Monday...way too much excitement for my tastes. I went to youth group on Wednesday for the first time in probably three months. I never knew how much I missed it, I wish my life wasn't so consumed with school, it seems I miss out on other things. This is the last semester...just keep telling myself that...this is the last semester. ~big sigh~ Anyway, who knows what to think...I'm done writing here for now. I need to convey my thoughts elsewhere. Have a great week everyone.

Random Things

2006-01-06T21:48:00.000-06:00

It's Friday night and I have absolutely nothing going on

I tried watching Madagascar but fell asleep, I thought it was kind of dumb.

When I woke up I thought I would claw my throat from my neck because it hurt so bad.

I just took the Are You Monkish quiz and it said I was more Monkish than most...yay for me.

Now I'm playing around with random things because I am bored.

Tomorrow I'm going with Katy and getting my ears pierced for the second time...

I haven't worked for three weeks and I miss my paycheck.

I did better on my report card than I expected.

My parents started looking for cars.

I can't sleep without my blinds open.

2006

2006-01-01T22:37:00.000-06:00

You know, break is nice, I like it, it should be like this all the time. My room is finally clean, I've been outside, finished a bunch of random paper work that doesn't involve school...pretty much caught my breath enough to go for the final run, so to speak. This year is going to involve so many changes and decisions that will alter the rest of my life maybe more so than any other year thus far. It is all craziness. I'm going to try to just stay calm this year and take things as they happen. I'm not much for resolutions, but I like to set one or two practical goals that I can strive for. So I am just going to see what all will happen this year and pray for the best, because I do want it to work out as easily as possible...but we'll just have to see. This year should be interesting.

Random Survey

2005-12-29T14:53:00.000-06:00


What is your favorite..
gum:	dyntene cinnamon
restaurant:	Olive Garden or Panera Bread
drink:	Root Beer
season:	cloves
type of weather:	sunny, breezy, open, big blue sky, lots of space and fresh air with no one else there--an open prarie
emotion:	sentiment/reflective or completely happy
thing to do on a half day:	take a nap and sing and dance in my room
late-night activity:	going to a late night show with "special" people
sport:	ick...sports...maybe croquet
city:	Venice
store:	Maurices
When was the last time you..
cried:	two nights ago
played a sport:	last fourth of July I played croquet
laughed:	right now I am laughing because this all so hilarious
hugged someone:	can't remember
kissed someone:	never
felt depressed:	two nights ago
felt elated:	when I woke up knowing I had a snow day
felt overworked:	last night
faked sick:	when I wanted to get out of a singing test in seventh grade
lied:	last of day of school this year
What was the last..
word you said:	Miss. Housten
thing you ate:	Chunky Potato soup
song you listened to:	The Night Before Life Goes On by Carrie Underwood
thing you drank:	Coca Cola Zero
place you went to:	Movie Gallery
movie you saw:	The Wedding Date
movie you rented:	The Wedding Date
concert you attended:	Kelly Clarkson
Who was the last person you..
hugged:	cant remember
cried over:	ummm...
kissed:	ummmmmmmmmmmmm....j/k no one
danced with:	haven't really danced WITH anyone
shared a secret with:	natasha
had a sleepover with:	natasha
called:	meg
went to a movie with:	my family
saw:	meg and natasha
were angry with:	my Dad
couldn't take your eyes off of:	i can always take my eyes off someone
obsessed over:	i'm not the obsessive type
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:	nope
kissed someone:	nope
done drugs:	nope
drank alcohol:	nope
slept around:	nope
partied 'til the sun came up:	nope
had a movie marathon:	nope
gone too far on a dare:	nope
spun until you were immensely dizzy:	yes...ick
taken a survey quite like this before:	sure

I figured out how to put pictures on here! yes!

2005-12-29T13:14:00.000-06:00

Oh man....

2005-12-26T16:57:00.000-06:00

Well, it's all over, Christmas that is. The actual day wasn't that bad, but on Christmas Eve I don't know what happened but I just kind of fell apart...who knows why. I feel bad about it too. I made my parents upset and my brothers and sister upset, and I was upset and it just was overall not good. sigh. Then my Mom asks me to tell her what was wrong. But I didn't, because I didn't even know what was wrong. sigh. I hate that. Anyway that day is over and now they just make fun of me for it...let me tell you that doesn't help anything but whatever, I guess I deserve it. Christmas was fine though. We went to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and it was pretty funny. It's a tradition to see a movie on Christmas for whatever reason. But yeah. I guess I'm just kind of glad its over. Today was great though. We went shopping for shoes because I needed one pair, but because it was after Christmas everything was on sale so I got five pairs. yes! Shoes make me happy. I got cowboy boots as one of those pairs. And I've decided something. I've decided that I'm going to move out West and get a horse ranch and marry a cowboy. haha. That was all inspired by buying those boots. Wonder what weird things I'll come up with in the next few days. One more thing, over break my Dad is making me get on a schedule. I know that that sounds weird because its break but it makes since because I don't have to think about school. So my Mom's giving me sleeping pills tonight and I'm going to bed early (for me anyway). Then I'm going to wake up early, and I'm sure this whole experience is going to be fun. I have to get ready for college you know.

Yeah...these last few days have been interesting

2005-12-23T21:50:00.000-06:00

Let me first say that I do not miss school at all. Maybe some of you do, and that's great, but I'd be happy to never go back. Guess I still need to graduate though. Yesterday was wonderful. I slept in until noon, and woke up to the sound of my stereo playing in the background. I always let it play throughout the night. My Dad signed me up to do some babysitting for one of my neighbors for a couple hours. Let me tell you....that was a very interesting experience. I'm just not the biggest fan of kids, they're cute and all...but cute is not enough. I was only supposed to have to watch their two little boys, but her 11 year old daughter was there too. So at first I thought she could kind of help me know what to do and all since I hadn't ever met them before I went over to watch them. Yeah right. She was horrible to her brother, yelling and screaming for the first half of when I was there. I was scared and didn't know what to do. I don't have that much experience with kids. So I protected the little three year old from all the violence and read to him the whole time. Eventually the madness ceased, and they came down and drew. Until the girl went upstairs to get her collection of dead animals to show me. First she showed me her dead gerbil and asked me to pet it. Then she brought out this dead frog and said it probably died of starvation and pointed out that its ribs were sticking out. She said people thought she was morbid, but she was just fascinated with dead animals, such as pets or road kill or really anything...yeah I'd say she was a little morbid. So this whole babysitting time was rather frightening...but they did pay me well so I guess it all works out? hehe. After that I went to the mall with my mom and sister for the fourth time this whole week to do yet more shopping. So that was fun. Then we went to Circuit City and I got an Ipod for my birthday and for Christmas...and I had to pay some for it too. But it was all well worth it. Its probably one of the coolest things I own. It can play videos and holds photos, and has space for about 15,000 songs. So cool. Then we went home and ate cake and laughed about ridiculous things for a long time. Some of you people wouldn't believe how crazy my family is...maybe you would...who knows. Then I stayed up until three playing with my Ipod and getting it all loaded up. And I was so proud of myself because I didn't need any help figuring out how to use it. So...my birthday was pretty good. Usually it's really boring and I stay in my room or work, but for once it wasn't so bad. Then today was just more. I slept in again, naturally, I mean...we don't have school. Then my mom, sister and I went to pick up Rebecca to go to Indy. We ate at the Old Spaghetti Factory...it is a beautiful restaurant. I think that's when I decided I loved Italy. We stayed there forever just because we were all crazy taking pictures and annoying the waitresses. It was fun. After that we went to the circle center mall and shopped for awhile. Didn't really buy anything, I think its more fun to look. Once we returned home Rebecca colored my hair. I think its the darkest its ever been, but I think I like it...I'll just have to get used to it. So I am completely loving break right now. Christmas won't be overly exciting I'm guessing, but you know...whatever. I don't feel like I've wasted too much time and it's been fun. I bet it's going to go way too fast though...we'll try not to think such thoughts.

2005-12-21T11:36:00.000-06:00

Right now everything is bittersweet, and I'm not sure what to do.

Sorry to disappoint

2005-12-19T10:33:00.000-06:00

Ok, I'm about to do something most people find annoying. Hopefully you all will forgive me. I put a video on my blog...not only that, but I'm going to post the lyrics to that song as well. I'll probably take it off in about a week so don't worry it'll all be back to normal soon.

Anyway, this song is really tragic, especially the video, and unfortunately I'm afraid it reflects a lot more families than we might realize. I am so blessed to have been placed where I am, but it makes me so sad when I hear about broken families.

"Blind"

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever want to leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

~Lifehouse~

Christmas lights

2005-12-17T22:23:00.000-06:00

ARRRGGG. So for about a week my mom's been asking me to decorate the trees, which is fine except for the fact that I haven't had time. So finally earlier this week I finished the big one in our living room. My dad and brother and sister had attempted to do it earlier but they didn't finish it, and they left the glass balls off. So I had to fix it all and basically decorate it backwards which was rather bothersome for me. So that's done. Then the past few days my mom asked me to decorate the smaller tree in our foyer. So last night I tried to do it. Problem was that someone...not mentioning any names...left the lights on the tree from last year. Their intentions were fine, but you cannot store lights on a tree, they get all misshapen and it's kind of bad for the lights. So I had to redo them. Redoing things is rather annoying. So I took them all down and tested each strand to be careful that they were all ok. So they were and I began to put them back on. So I get the first strand on without any problems. I test the next strand again...just to be sure...and then put it on the tree. Much to my dismay, when I plugged it in again that strand did not work. I decided I should then test every light bulb to see if there was a loose one, but there wasn't. So I once again take the lights down, and put on a different strand (after, of course, testing it). After I complete wrapping my third attempt of lights on the tree, I plug it in once again to make sure they worked. Well...they didn't. At this point I was just about ready to take the tree out to the burn pile and forever rid myself of such frustrations. Me, being the mild-mannered person that I am, however, very calmly checked every bulb and the ripped the malfunctioning lights of the tree. Then just for fun I thought I'd plug that strand in once again just to see if it decided to work once I had taken it down. Guess what? To my complete and total shock....they worked. There was no way, however, that I was putting that strand back on the tree. They deserve to be crunched and mutilated so that they will no longer fool any other unsuspecting human. After all this had happened I had only one strand of working lights left out of the four I had started with. Again, I must say, do NOT store your Christmas lights on the tree, bad things will happen. All the lights with green cords were all gone and all we had left were lights with white cords. I completely refused to use them even if it meant I had to go to the store to buy my own lights. It would just be wrong. You cannot put lights with white cords on a green tree. Finally, after I had given up for the night, my Mom went and bought about ten boxes of lights, and I have succeeded in putting them on the tree! HAHAAHAHAHA! It just thought it would make me give up. That just teaches you that after much deliberation and frustration, impossible things can happen. UGG. And in about two weeks all my hard work will have been for naught. sigh.

Something is wrong with me

2005-12-12T16:51:00.000-06:00

Today was interesting. I went from class to class merely to live it as it came it really didn't seem as if I was alive at all. Odd feeling. I wasn't really tired I just felt like a blob of nothingness today. Yeah, but some wonderful things happened. Like all projects are done now...except that last thing for English. Mrs. Thomas was feeling merciful and canceled our micro presentations. Actually it was just because we didn't have time to make them, nevertheless, made me happy. Also, I got accepted to Evangel today, and received some sort of scholarship, so that was good. My future is set. JK. Anyway, right now I still feel like a blob and need to go study. I'm sure it will be tons of fun.

Haha! 4 days left (until exams)

2005-12-11T23:39:00.000-06:00

Well this all might be rather random and unorganized...such is my life right now.

On Wednesday I went to the Meinheim Steamroller concert...I think I was the youngest person there.

Thursday I cast longful glances outside the windows waiting for the snow to fall...it did.

Friday I slept in, and you can say I was lazy, I'll say I was tired.

Saturday Jared and I tried to go watch John Davey perform...but he wasn't there.

Today I went to church and it was all decorated.

Lately all I've been listening to is Christopher Cross...he's very good, you all should get his cd and listen to him.

This week is not going to be any fun I presume, hopefully I'm wrong.

Christmas break will arrive not one moment too soon.

There...I'm done.

It's different this year

2005-12-06T20:49:00.000-06:00

And different isn't necessarily good, but it's not bad either. Life is racing through my head and sometimes I seem to lose the chance to just breathe. So, that's what I'm doing right now. Trying to get all my thoughts organized and gathered so that I can sleep tonight. I figure in two weeks from now, school will be out...I'm going to make it. Unfortunately, I have not done as well this semester as I know I could have. This bothers me to no end. Knowing I could do better, I have the ability to do better, and I haven't. You could lecture me on how this is my fault, and I don't mind, but I already know. Every action of mine and the consequences resulting from those actions are directly related. I know this. There are tons of excuses I could make, maybe some would be legitimate, but in the end, I am the only one responsible.

One thing that is the absolute most difficult for me is being able to transfer what I know in my head to be true to how I feel in my heart. That might sound bad. Oh no! She's going by her feelings. Well, believe it or not feelings exist, God created them, it's something that makes us human. But again, I know you can't be governed by your feelings...I know this, I really do. So, what this means is that while I may feel sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, or whether I feel happy, excited, calm, whatever it may be they are just feelings and I am going to have to be able to function properly without them ruling my life. I don't know if I'm contradicting myself here, but anyways this whole paragraph is kind of confusing to type. By the way, you all don't have to read all this, I'm just trying to figure things out.

So yeah...I'm not going to pass with flying colors this semester, but if I'm going to give up now I have a rough life ahead of me. I hate giving up or quitting, absolutely hate it. So yeah...next semester WILL be better

I think I've pretty much figured out what I want to do after highschool, so that's good news. Except I'm a little worried because I haven't been doing the best this year, so I'm kind of doubting myself...but on the other hand I like reaching for lofty goals. Anyway, I've pretty much decided I'll be going to Evangel University in Springfield, Missouri, unless something else happens...we'll see, nothing is set in stone. I've also decided to study pre-med. Honestly I never thought in a million years I would decide to do such a thing, but why not? I'm not sure which part of medicine I want to study, I suppose I'll get to that when I get to it. I'm excited about it...maybe if I'm able to make it through I'll be able to help people, maybe aid in saving some lives...that's kind of cool to think about. 100% of students with a 3.5 GPA at Evangel get into med school. That's pretty good odds. So after Evangel, I'll hopefully pass the MCATs, get into med school, go through med school, start residency, etc., I'm not sure when all my schooling will be complete, hopefully by the time I'm thirty. hahaha. Will I get married or have kids? hmmm...about that one...I just don't know, if it happens, it will happen if it doesn't, I won't die. Having a family and med school together sounds complex, although I'm sure it's been done.

Anyway, that's next year...craziness...one year from now until the rest of my life. Back to the present.
To do before break: exams (5-6), 3 presentations (UGG, I hate, loath, and despise with a burning passion giving presentations, I know that sounds lame, and it is, but I hate it...always end up making myself sound dumb...), 2 or 3 games, work, 2 art projects, and a few tests and quizzes thrown in here and there. Also, I'm going to a concert tomorrow, so I'm happy about that.

Besides school, which is pretty much my whole life, there are some things here and there that need to be taken care of. There comes a point where the load gets so heavy, you have to give it to Jesus. I've come to that point before, and I'm there right now. And I'll give it to Him, at least I say I do, but for some dumb reason I hang on. So, I say I'll let go but I really don't. I don't know if this is making sense to anyone at all, but yeah...whatever. So basically, if I want to be truly free, I have to give it all away. Sounds so easy doesn't it? Jesus says "cast all your cares on Me, for I care for you." Why do I hang on? Why can't I just give up all my cares and worries to Him? "For My yoke is easy, and My burden light." This all sounds ideal to me. Why would I want anything else? What's wrong with me?!? ~sighs~ "For strength is perfected in weakness" He promises He will not give me anything I can't handle, He knows the plans He has for me--plans for good and not evil, He promises to return, He promises this life will not be easy, He promises that His words are true and everlasting. His promises are all I have right now, and all I have to lean on.

I can never say everything...there will always be things no one will ever know or understand about me...probably many things. This can be comforting but yet difficult at times. I mean, I'd like to tell someone I suppose, but such cannot happen...so umm...I don't know. That's my theme: I don't know.

I'd like to apologize to all my friends for the way I've been lately, I'm really sorry. Some of you might have noticed others might not have. But I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being grumpy, confusing, for worrying you, you can add to the list if you want. Thanks for being there, but don't worry, I'm going to be fine. I know everything happens for reason, and in the end it will all work out. And hey, if life has a happy ending, I want live it. No fairy tale was perfect right? haha.

If you read all of this..good for you...I suppose. So...that's kind of what's been going on with me lately. I'm not promising I'll be perfectly happy or anything from now on...but I'm working on it. Have a good week everyone!

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

Crash and Burn

2005-12-04T19:40:00.000-06:00

The worst part is that I did this all to myself...

How much longer?

December

2005-12-01T18:58:00.000-06:00

Growing up this month brought me so much happiness. I was homeschooled so we basically could take the whole month off to get ready for it by decorating and baking and stuff like that. My brother's and my birthdays are also this month, so its always been a little crazy, but the good kind of crazy. Once I started going to real school, everything changed because instead of have the whole month off, we only have two weeks. Usually I'll start listening to Christmas music right after Thanksgiving and have planned what I'll get everyone. This year is different. I still like the thought of Christmas, but this year, we're kind of deciding to skip it sort of, which is kind of sad. I know Christmas is more than just lights, trees, cookies, red, green, gifts, etc., so I'm trying to keep that all in perspective. Right now I'd rather just skip this month and winter altogether. It's so cold outside, and with projects looming over my head...sigh. I'm not against Christmas, I just don't want it to happen this year.

Waiting for February...

And more good news

2005-11-28T21:09:00.000-06:00

Ok, so i was riding home with my Mom after the game tonight and she told me the insurance company was probably going to pay for all of my car! Like the full value of it when we first got it! Now this will by no means bring my car back to me, and I had to give my keys away today, but at least we won't lose a ton of money if any. Also, I don't have to pay for the electrical boxes I ran over because that's why we have taxes. So...this is good news, and it made me feel better. I have to say having Rebecca drive me to school instead of the opposite today made me a little sad...just little things here and there to bring back the memory of my car. I shall miss it terribly.

On to other things...I'm still sick and I keep getting worse. It's been about a month of off and on illness and I'm starting to feel the feeling of pneumonia creeping back into my chest. Uggg sickness. It's some reconciliation if you can miss school and get sleep and try to feel better, but if you're not sick enough to miss school, it really stinks because the rest of the day you're miserable.

Also, we only have about three weeks until Christmas break and my birthday yay! I guess. Actually, I'm not ready at all for Christmas, I'm trying to get ready, and I want to be ready...but I'm not. Soon I'll be eighteen, how crazy is that. The government already sent a form for me to fill out for jury duty. Man, being an adult sounds so boring. I think if I'm able to make it through next Tuesday then I'll be ok. But pray for me until then because I have three projects, three games, two parades, and work I've got to fit in, not to mention any random tests and quizzes they might decide to give.

How do you get pictures on here? I keep trying or whatever, and somehow they end up vanishing. It's quite odd.

Good news Bad news

2005-11-25T12:37:00.000-06:00

hehe...yesterday's post was kind of depressing. sorry 'bout that.

So this is how it goes. I'll share the bad news first to get it out of the way. My car is basically totaled. Dang it. I feel really stupid right now, been driving for only a year and already totaled a car. Yeah, this went over well.

Now for the good news. My parents had joined this direct buy club about a month ago, and if they decide to get another car it will be alot cheaper than if they hadn't joined it. Also, my Mom called a driving school (nervous laugh) and well, they might have some kind of class or program or something where they take you out in certain situations (i. e. icy roads, gravel roads with pot holes, etc.) and teach you what to do in such situations. So that might be good. Also, today I am feeling better. All up until my accident certain things have been overwhelming me and this wreck kind of just finished everything off for me I guess. I'm not really going to say everything that's been happening, but I woke up today and I know now what I have to do. It's not really the easiest thing, but in the end I will survive. I probably didn't seem that thankful yesterday, and I wasn't feeling the most thankful, but I am learning. I have so much, and I can't fall into the trap of self-pity. Yeah, the future for me right now is a little blurry. What's going to happen to me? I don't have the slightest idea. I'm scared, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. I'm going to be ok somehow though.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

the aftermath

2005-11-24T22:11:00.000-06:00

Well, today is thanksgiving, and I am crying. I can't stop. I don't remember feeling like this before, and it's hard to put in words. I'm sorry everyone, I really am. I don't know anymore, I just don't know. So I am going to yet again post lyrics, and I'm sorry for everyone who dislikes it when people do that, but that's the only way I can think of saying what's kind of going on with me. This is the song that inspired the title of my blog.

Home

It's a long way from Miami to LA
It's a longer way from yesterday to where I am today
It's a long way from my thoughts to what I'll say
It's a long long way from paradise to where I am today

All that's in my head is in Your hands

It's a long way from the moon up to the sun
It's a longer road ahead of me, the road that I've begun
Start to think of all the times I've lost
Start to think of all the bridges that I've burned that must be crossed

Over, over, over, take me over

I've been poison
I've been rain
I've been fooled again
I've seen ashes shine like chrome
Someday I'll see home

Home, home

I can see the stars from way down here
But I can't fall asleep behind the wheel
Up to Your reality to watch the sunlight take me over

over, over, take me over

All that's in my head is in Your hands
If it's in my head it's in Your hands
It's in my head, it's in Your hands
It's in your hands
~Switchfoot~

James 1:2-4

2005-11-23T22:22:00.000-06:00

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

this world has nothing for me

2005-11-20T21:36:00.000-06:00

Would it be that my complete desire and trust were placed in Christ alone instead of them being consumed by everyday things that take hold of my life. He hasn't given up on me yet, and this I cry to Him:

Rescue

You are the Son of light
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
Come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

My heart is Yours for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do
Lord, I put my trust in You

I need You Jesus
Come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
This world has nothing for me
This world has nothing for me
(I will follow You)
This world has nothing for me

I need You Jesus
Come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

Oh I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
Won't You capture me with grace?
I will follow You
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
This world has nothing for me
~Newsong~

Conversations With Myself

2005-11-19T21:39:00.000-06:00

Ok, so lately things have been a little stressful, actually alot stressful for me anyway. I don't know if it's the time of the year, my classes, all my activities having to coincide with each other, or the fact that I am just really tired. All I know is that right now I need a vacation.

I don't know if you guys talk to yourselves, but I do all the time. It helps figure things out and just be able to think clearly. I think there are two of me, and each of them is trying win. One side I am trying my hardest to make everything pull together and work and the other side says to give up and why should I care anyway? So, I'll just share a short story of something that in reality was a small issue, but to me it mattered alot. Actually this situation just made me think more. So...I had this art project due on Tuesday. For those of you who don't know, I really love art and whenever I do it I kind of escape for a short period of time. Well, I had been working on this one project forever and was very careful with it, put tons of time into it and everything. Well to make long story shorter the project was due and mine was not finished. And for as much time and effort I had put into it, I really was hoping my teacher would show me a little mercy and give me one extra day...I had missed a whole week of art you know. Well she didn't and basically, my project was, and still is incomplete. This just kind of ruined it for me, after trying so hard and it not mattering, I was just through for that day. But my good friend, Rebecca was there and she said something that helped me put things in the right perspective again. I was talking to her about how I was tired of trying and trying and failing, or something like that and that I couldn't do anything or make everything work together. Well, her reply was "you're right, you can't" and she was being serious, so for a second I was like thanks, I feel alot better now. But then she went on to explain that it's only by God's grace that things could and would work together. For a second I was a little taken aback because, she was completely right, and I really didn't have anything to say after that.

So, news to me, I can't do everything. Ok, I've always know that, haven't been taught anything else. Funny how crazy humans get at times. I don't know about anyone else but this time of the year I have lots of projects and tests and extracurricular activities and stuff like that. Somehow it all has to work together right? You're right, it does. And lately I haven't been able to make it work. I haven't. Did I ever ask God for help. Did I decide to give Him a few minutes before I started my day? No, I didn't. Why? It's so foolish of me. I mean, He created the universe, and hear I am freaking out about my grades, work, cheerleading, church stuff, friends, family, etc, and I am trying to make it all work all by myself. I do it every year. I know I shouldn't, I know God ultimately is in control, and guess what, Adrienne here is trying to make it all work all by herself. Yeah, I'm a little stressed, and my projects aren't going away anytime soon, but it's only by grace that I will be able to make it through the end of this semeste, nothing I do will change that. So guess what, this Friday I was tested again, and if you all recall, we had an English test. It was not a fun English test, and well..I was not the happiest about it. Again I was trying to make everything work myself. I had studied and prepared and lost sleep over it. How soon I forget. How foolish we humans are. Will I try it on my own again? Well, I probably will unfortunately. Why do I do things that hurt me and don't do the things that will make me stronger? God forgive me.

Only by grace can we enter
Only by grace can we stand
Not by our human endeavor
But by the blood of the Lamb
Into Your presence You call us
You call us to come
Into Your presence You draw us
And now by Your grace we come
Now by Your grace we come

Absolutely Beautiful

2005-11-14T13:53:00.000-06:00

Ok so this year in choir we're not singing all of the old songs that we used to. However, there is this one song with this one line in it that is my favorite.

"The skies are glowing, the heavens are cloudless..."

I don't know why, but singing this puts me in a different world. You all will probably find it a little boring and unexciting, but for me, this is beautiful. Bonus points for anyone not in choir who can figure this song out.

Well...

2005-11-10T21:29:00.000-06:00

I would like to say to all those who feel bogged down, tired, frustrated, sad, suffocated, and anything else. I know how you feel I really do. This year is going to be over before we know it, and when we're in college, or the military, or starting a job, or other things that will come out way, we will look back and want to have one more day of highschool. Ok, maybe not exactly, but it's not going to get any easier once we graduate, and that's how things are. So I'm saying to myself and everyone else don't give up, don't let things slide, keep trying your hardest even if no one notices. This is hard for me. I want to give up. I want to crawl under the covers and go sleep and wake up once my life starts. Well, that might be awhile. So...yeah, I'm hoping I will survive. Time will tell.

"Let Me Fall (From Cirque De Soleil)"

2005-11-01T19:04:00.000-06:00

Let me fall

Let me climb

There's a moment when fear

And dreams must collide

Someone I am

Is waiting for courage

The one I want

The one I will become

Will catch me

So let me fall

If I must fall

I won't heed your warnings

I won't hear them

Let me fall

If I fall

Though the phoenix may

Or may not rise

I will dance so freely

Holding on to no one

You can hold me only

If you too will fall

Away from all these

Useless fears and chains

Someone I am

Is waiting for my courage

The one I want

The one I will become

Will catch me

So let me fall

If I must fall

I won't heed your warnings

I won't hear

Let me fall

If I fall

There's no reason

To miss this one chance

This perfect moment

Just let me fall

~Josh Groban~

uggg...the thoughts of catching up

2005-11-01T16:59:00.000-06:00

Well I have returned from Missouri back to Indiana. I have to say, it was much more beautiful there than I expected it to be. I could write all about it, but I'm not going to. The college was good, not exactly the setting I'm looking for, but we'll see. Right now I am exhausted and feel pretty crappy. I've been trying to catch up on homework all day but haven't succeded in doing so... My Mom says I have no choice but to attend school in the morning...no matter how bad I feel. sigh. I have so much to do. I thought I'd take a break and write about it. After visiting colleges here and there consuming my thoughts with applications and stuff that pertains to college I have lost absolutely any motivation I ever had for this year. uggg...grrrr...

My bathroom is being destroyed

2005-10-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

Today a man came to my house and he ripped my bathtub right from the wall. The paint ripped off, the tile is broken and now all I see in that area is insulation. I have to say this makes me very sad, very very sad. Why is this happening? One might ask. Quite simply, whoever installed my shower/bathtub did a really bad job in sealing it. This means that it leaked to the kitchen beneath. Last week the kitchen cealing started falling, not joking. So because I didn't want my shower to fall through the ceiling some day, I had to get it removed and we have to get a new one. No tile and we will have to repaint it. I guess I didn't want to fall through the ceiling, as interesting of an experience that would be, but still...it makes me sad. There that's my story for now.

There may come a time when I will see that I was wrong...but for now this is my song

2005-10-23T00:33:00.000-05:00

Let's see here, what has happened this week? Sunday I went to church, Monday I went to Purdue, Tuesday I can't remember, Wednesday was report cards, Thursday was the fall concert, Friday I went to Rebecca's, Saturday was cheerleading practice. There now you've got a very brief summary of my week. Congratulations. Sigh, I think I've been a little down lately. Not on purpose, but I just really am tired of stuff that happens. I would say more, but really I don't think that would be the best idea and I just don't know what to type so, yeah. I'm just tired and confused about many things right now. Have a great week everyone!

hmmm...

2005-10-17T22:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I went to Purdue today. I don't think I want to go there because, while it has great programs and is world-renowned in certain areas, it is just too large. I would drown. I went to a few workshop tour things while there. One was for pre-med, and then I took a tour for aviation. Meg and I were the only girls, lol. It was really interesting--both of them. SO...I still don't know what to do. On my application I have interior design and flight aviation technology as choices for my majors and then is said to check if I was interested in pre-med, so I did. Well, I don't know how that will all work out. We shall see. But now I'm leaning more towards a smaller private school. pre-med? aviation? interior design? I have to say, they don't really relate, oh well...

Yesterday Once More...and Today

2005-10-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

10 Years Ago: Well, I was seven and homeschooled, so I basically just hung out with my sister. We didn't really do school work actually. Our days were spent watching little house on the prairie and playing. We had the most fun games to play. At my old house we had a ditch on the side, so my sister and I would take our hundreds (not kidding) of beanie babies and go to the ditch and have war. It was so much fun. My side always won of course. Another game we would play was called "pay more" It was a game for our dolls and we would take all the clothes and hang them on hangers and set outragious prices for them. One more thing we did was pretend we lived back in the 1800s. It had always been my dream, and so every day we would gather wood and mush berries and hunt for little animals to provide sustainence for ourselves. We always wore dresses when we played this too, and I remember wearing the same outfit everyday for one week without washing it. I was a disturbed child.

5 Years Ago: I was twelve, I know that for sure. But was I in seventh or eighth grade?? I think I was in eighth grade...but I'm not too sure. Ok, that year was crazy. Most communication was done by writing notes back and forth to each other and I remember that being the first year any guy ever paid attention to me. That year I tried both volleyball and basketball unsuccessufully. We had school one week at the armory. That year I had my first "boyfriend" and then my first breakup, and then my second "boyfriend" lol. Crazy times. I remember being so stinkin nervous, and feeling so stupid. I remember many songs from that point of my life, and I cried myself to sleep most nights. Gosh, I hated jr. high. I also lost a lot of weight that year. We switched churchs adding to everything else. Not my favorite year.

1 Year Ago: I started the year by going to the Josh Groban concert with Rebecca, we saw Tirzah too, but didn't have seats together. That was a beautiful night, and was right after my last boyfriend broke up with me. Yeah, through last year, I think I grew a lot (not physically) but still struggled. Academics were hard. Man, I really feel so much different than I did a year ago. I spent the year single, which is how I plan to remain, because I don't think guys are good for me. They make me want to cry. Anyway, last year we switched back to my old church causing some emotional turmoil. But, it was good for me I suppose. I really think I'm different now, at least I hope I am.

Yesterday: It was the end of the first quarter. I had a voice lesson that went twenty minutes over, then I went to cheerleading practice. I ate at Culver's and then went home. I then preceded to go to church and saw some people I hadn't in awhile. I then came home put on pajamas and talked to some people on the internet for awhile.

5 Snacks I Enjoy: pringles, icing, chocolate chips, ice cream, coffee

5 Song I know all the words to: my heart will go on by Celine Dion, remember when it rained by Josh Groban, home by Switchfoot, think of me on the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, and somewhere down the road by Barry Manilow

5 Things I'd do with 100 million dollars: tithe, buy a really cool car, such as a convertible 2006 350z from nissan the color orange or blue, tuition for college, use it to travel all around the world, a new purse, I'd save about half of it.

5 Place I'd run away to: ITALY first and formost, all over Europe, China, back in time, and California

5 Things I would never wear: pleated pants, a mini skirt, fur, neon yellow, orange, or green, or something with lots of ruffles

5 Favorite TV shows: Monk, American Idol, Days of Our Lives (lol), the Biggest Loser (lol), and Oprah

5 Bad Habits: procrastinating, being late, not cleaning my room, being lazy, and not eating healthy

5 Biggest Joys: making someone smile, the wind blowing in my face, dreaming, the feeling of being able to forget everything lay down on my bed with sad music playing in the background and the moonlight on my face, and being able to move on

5 Favorite Toys: my bike, music, hair products, purses, and the computer

Self-discipline

2005-10-08T22:44:00.000-05:00

Wow, the first quarter is about over!! Which means there are only three quarters left. Yes! I can do math. Oh man, school is really wearing on me. This coming week I have three big projects due. Yesterday I took five tests, and in micro I was so mad at myself. On this big question, I had put the exactly right answer and then I looked down at another question and second guessed my self and I changed my answer. UGG! That was probably a five point question too, plus it affected other questions. I hate second guessing myself. sigh, so that was really upsetting and pretty much ruined my day, but, I'm better now. I actually love micro, and the more I am in that class the more I am considering doing something medical with my life. hehe, here we go again, another career choice. I think it would be awesome to be a pathologist like my dad. It's so interesting, and ever since I was little I'd go to the hospital and look at slides and organs and it was the highlight of my week. I swore I wouldn't do anything medical, I was sick of it. But, now..I don't know. It's practical, I think I could do it, it's really interesting, and it would pay well too. who knows. I love my Dad, I wish I could be like him. My mom always said I was like him in ways such as being obsessive compulsive about certain things, and being organized. But my Dad is so self-disciplined. He's sure to get enough sleep every night, he keeps things neat, he doesn't waste hardly anything, he exercises regularly, manages time and money well, eats healthy, and so many other things. I guess sometimes I just don't realize it because sometimes all of that can get on my nerves, but really, I wish I could be like that. I don't know about you all, but I am so looking forward to the two days we have off next week. It keeps me going. lol. Later this month I'm going to visit a college or two, and finish filling out applications. One problem I'm finding though is being unable to pick a major. Every application has checked a different thing, or several different things. Is anyone else unsure about their lives as I am mine? gosh, I really need to get my act together. I need to do things better, I'm gonna work on being more self-disciplined. This is one of the hardest things I do believe

:-D

2005-10-01T00:17:00.000-05:00

This week...ha ha HA

I would like to say thank you to the people who make me smile and laugh.

Life wouldn't be the same without you. lol.

The rest of my life...

2005-09-23T22:17:00.000-05:00

Well, I won't quit my blog for now cause something exciting just may happen in my life. lol. Anyway, this week has been a little odd. My mom was telling me about this guy today who used to be one of my friends and he called me and stuff, and now he is engaged and that's just weird. Because...he's like twenty or something and the girl is my age and he's bought her a car and everything. Just thinking that that could have been me is weird. Not saying I wanted it to be me, I'm just saying how weird it is how life goes sometimes. I can't imagine being engaged now...just weird. I don't like school, I'm trying to have a good attitude, but I just want it to be over. I want to go to college where no one knows me and I can start all over and meet new people. I like things here and all my friends, but I'm just ready for a change. Thinking about it excites me. So...here are a few choices I'm going to choose between. There are so many things that would be interesting to be I don't want to pick just one.

I could be an interior designer and be able to make plain homes beautiful and pick out all different kinds of things and put them into one wonderful thing. I could use lots of colors and shapes and styles and mix them in all kinds of different ways. Maybe I could be on Trading Spaces. lol. j/k

Or...I could be a dietitian and help other people be healthy and in the mean time I would have to be healthy. It's always kind of interested me and it would be a way to have a semi-medical career without having to deal with blood and catheters and stuff like that. Being healthy sounds really good. Whenever I exercise and watch my diet I always feel better and have more energy. Not that being a dietitian is necessary to be healthy, but I think it would be cool to see other people improve there lives also.

Or...I could be an artist. Ever since I was five I wanted to be an artist. It is one of my absolute favorite things. Unfortunately, I am not that great and wouldn't have much of an income. So, this isn't a major choice, but I think it would fun. Maybe it will just be a hobby for my spare time.

Or...I could be a chef. Now, I don't make too many things from scratch, but I'm sure I could learn. All you have to do is follow a recipe right? It's like a different form of art, you just make food beautiful instead of paper.

Or...I could be an accountant. This is what my aunt is and my Dad said it was a good respectable job for females, and it's practical too I guess. I do okay with numbers, but still...this job seems a little boring so it's not up there on my list. Still an option though.

Or...I could work on a cruise ship. Seriously, I wouldn't ever consider this unless I had gone on a cruise a couple years ago. It was one of my favorite things I've ever done. You get exposed to so much culture and you get to visit many beautiful places. About everyone speaks a different language, English is predominant, but dozens of other languages are heard. I don't know what I'd do on a cruise ship, but if I could find something, I think it would be fun.

Or...I could be a pilot or flight attendant. Being a flight attendant seems more practical, but the thought of flying a plane makes me really happy. I can't think of a better place to be than up in the sky. It's incredible, absolutely incredible.

Or...I could do something in microbiology. I absolutely love that class this year, it's my favorite by far. I used to read books about stuff like that when I was little, and I know it sounds weird, but anatomy has always been really interesting to me also. I don't know how I could incorporate it into a career, but I definitely want to study it more either in a class or on my own

Or...I could be a homemaker. I could just stay at home, raise a family, do the chores, etc. This isn't too horrible of an option, but I would have to get married and have kids and settle down, and right now that seems so distant to me. Although, it could happen in a little as five years. That's just strange to think about.

There are many other things that interest me, and I don't just want to pick one, I wish I could be all of them, that would be really cool. It would involve lots of dedication, hard work, and school, and really, after four years of college, I want to be done. We'll see though. I'm looking forward to being done with highschool.

Now there are also two options I have for where I will go to college.

1.) A private Christian college. This would provide a firm spiritual foundation and I would be surrounded by Christians all the time. The classes would have a better student to teacher ratio and I wouldn't necessarily just be another number. I could make friends with people who share my beliefs, and it would make it a lot easier to meet Christian guys. That sounds weird, but seriously, it's something you have to think about. A bad thing, however, is that they don't provide as many of the majors I'm looking for...which could create a problem. Right now I'm strongly considering Evangel University which is of Assembly of God affiliation and is located in Springfield, Missouri. I'm probably going to visit it next month when we have a couple days off. My Mom really wants me to go there, and if I did, I would get to live away from home.

2.) A local public college. This would definitely give me more choices of majors and the experience of living in the "real world" which could be good or bad. Purdue is about the only one I'm considering for this. It makes a lot of sense to go there because it's right here. It's also a really good college, and people from all over the world come to study there. They have tons of major, almost all of the ones I'm looking at, and it would be considerably cheaper than a college out of state. I would most likely live at home for at least the first year, and I just don't know if I want to do that. I know lots of people who go to Purdue, or who are planning to go there. Also, they have a study abroad program which would give me the opportunity to go to another country as an exchange student and study there. That would be SOOO COOL! But, that's pretty iffy right now. My Dad's really pressing for me to go to this college because he did, his dad did, and so did all of his siblings. So it's definitely an option, but I just don't know yet.

So....having said all that, these are all of the choices I'm going to have to make in the next few years. That's crazy, absolutely crazy. I'm excited and scared at the same time. Tell me which you think I should choose, I'd like to hear all your opinions. Yeah, that's all for now.

Opinions please

2005-09-19T00:02:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about deleting my blog. If you can give me any good reasons too keep it please say so, but I'm getting kind of bored with it. I will make my final decision in about a week.

Being tired has become a familiar friend to me

2005-09-11T22:05:00.000-05:00

This week has been a little insane for me. I won't write everything because personally, I don't feel like it. Even though the week started on Tuesday, it seemed like the longest week. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow either because I forgot to bring my homework home. Anyway, Friday I helped with the banquet thingy, although I felt completely useless the whole time. We sang, and I got to miss some classes which made me happy. I like mixing up the schedule like that every once in awhile, stuff like that helps you get through the year. Friday I hung out with Rebecca and we went to say hi to Jared. Saturday was insane. I got up, dropped my sister off at school, went to the hospital with my Dad, then went to park cars. It wasn't horrible the first part of the day, but they made us wear black pants which make you really warm. So I was dehydrated and not feeling the best during all that time. There were some cool cars though, one guy even rode a Hearst to the game, that made me laugh. Then my Dad picked me up and we walked about two miles to the field to watch the game. On the way there we detoured as he showed me where he used to room and such. Gave me a mini tour of Purdue I suppose. My feet were killing me because I was wearing high heels and now I have blisters all over them. So we met up with Norm (my grandpa), and my uncle. It was the first football game I had actually been to, probably the first one I've ever watched period. So I didn't really understand it, but I guess I got some good football 101 that day. Still can't say I enjoy the sport. After that we headed back two miles, in my high shoes mind you, and guess what, we got lost. Ugg, my feet hurt just thinking about it. We finally find Norm's car (it's a Mercedes, very nice car), but he didn't want to put the air conditioning on all the way for whatever reason, so I was sweaty and gross and had to be at work in less than an hour. So I get home, drink as much as I have time to, get dressed and leave in time to get to work. At work I saw Rebecca, Jared and Jordan, which was cool. Then I went home and watched monster in law. I thought it was kind of dumb, but you are entitled to your opinions too. Today I went to church, did some homework while I watched Phantom of the Opera (again), I'm obsessed with that movie, or musical, whatever you want to call it. I even got the soundtrack. After that I went to work and they let me off early so I got gas and went home. Now I am here debating what I should do about my homework. So that's that, and now you all are better informed on my life. lol.

Here's a really sad song from the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack.
Sad songs are my favorite.

Learn to be Lonely
Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your own companion
Ever dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you?
You've always known
You're heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone
Life can be lived
Life can be loved
Alone.

One of my favorites

2005-09-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD
(Watty Piper)

A little steam engine had a long train of cars to pull.

She went along very well till she came to a steep hill. But then, no matter how hard she tried, she could not move the long train of cars.

She pulled and she pulled. She puffed and she puffed. She backed and started off again. Choo! Choo!

But no! the cars would not go up the hill.

At last she left the train and started up the track alone. Do you think she had stopped working? No, indeed! She was going for help.

"Surely I can find someone to help me," she thought.

Over the hill and up the track went the little steam engine. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo!

Pretty soon she saw a big steam engine standing on a side track. He looked very big and strong. Running alongside, she looked up and said:

"Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and heavy I can't get it over."

The big steam engine looked down at the little steam engine. The he said:

"Don't you see that I am through my day's work? I have been rubbed and scoured ready for my next run. No, I cannot help you,"

The little steam engine was sorry, but she went on, Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!

Soon she came to a second big steam engine standing on a side track. He was puffing and puffing, as if he were tired.

"That big steam engine may help me," thought the little steam engine. She ran alongside and asked:

"Will you help me bring my train of cars over the hill? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over."

The second big steam engine answered:

"I have just come in from a long, long run. Don't you see how tired I am? Can't you get some other engine to help you this time?

"I'll try," said the little steam engine, and off she went. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!

After a while she came to a little steam engine just like herself. She ran alongside and said:

"Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over."

"Yes, indeed!" said this little steam engine. "I'll be glad to help you, if I can."

So the little steam engines started back to where the train of cars had been standing. Both little steam engines went to the head of the train, one behind the other.

Puff, puff! Chug, choo! Off they started!

Slowly the cars began to move. Slowly they climbed the steep hill. As they climbed, each little steam engine began to sing:

"I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I think I can - I think I can - I think I can I think I can--"

And they did! Very soon they were over the hill and going down the other side.

Now they were on the plain again; and the little steam engine could pull her train herself. So she thanked the little engine who had come to help her, and said good-by.

And she went merrily on her way, singing:

"I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I thought i could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could I thought I could --"

THE END

Of course it's better with illustrations, but still...it brings back so many memories.

It's going to be a fabulously beautiful weekend!

2005-09-03T22:19:00.000-05:00

I am so happy it is the weekend! I am so very very happy it is the weekend! AND...I am so very very extremely happy we don't have school on Monday! Doesn't that just make you want to run around the house and sing the Hallelujah chorus? Sigh...such complete wonderfulness. This week has been busy, not terribly hard but not fun. On Tuesday I had a lot of quizzes and Friday I had a lot of quizzes too, not to mention I gave my first speech this week. I am just not a speech kind of person, but it is a necessary class and will be good for me I am told. Friday was fun besides taking a hard quiz in trig. But I think I figured it out, so I'm happy. I went to the soccer game and didn't really watch it, but we won so go Faith! Then Rebecca, Natasha, and I all went shopping for Erin's birthday and went to rent movies. On the way to Rebecca's house we stopped to see Jordan at Arby's. He was on break when we came so he talked to us for a little while and got Rebecca a sandwich. After we were done eating I was being a little crazy because of the jamocha shake I had just consumed so I don't know exactly what we were doing but I for one was extremely tired and really beyond myself. So Rebecca put an icecube down my back and I completely freaked out. I jumped and ran all the way down Arby's looking at all the people just staring at me. Meanwhile, Rebecca had retreated to the bathroom and was laughing at my expense. Really, you had to be there, but it was so funny. So we get to her house around nine and they went to color Natasha's hair while I took a nap (at nine...lol). After that we watched Phantom of the Opera. Such a good movie! They need to make musicals more often, I love them. Anyway, the first part of the movie I didn't understand initially and it was a little difficult to understand everything they were singing, but it was beautiful. It made me tear up, not cry though. I didn't even like it at first, I thought it was going to be boring and hard to understand, but the depth of emotion whenever they sang! Now I want to get the soundtrack. I doubt guys would enjoy this movie, so I mainly recommend it for people who like musicals, like I do. It was beautiful. After that was over we watched Hitch, which is a little different genre than the one before. It was funny, but I was so tired I just wanted it to be over. We probably fell asleep around three and that was Friday night and Saturday morning. When we woke up at the ridiculous hour of nine thirty, I was feeling a bit grumpy and wanted to go back to sleep but I didn't. We ate breakfast and got ready and then watched the first part of Phantom of the Opera again because it was such a good movie. So that was the rest of Saturday morning. That afternoon we went to the pizza hut on campus to surprise Erin for her birthday. I was a little worried I would get lost because I'd never been there before, but yay for me, I found my way (with the help of some friends). It was fun we ate pizza and took pictures and did whatever. Then we went to Erin's house for a few minutes after. Once we got there Rebecca and I decorated Erin's room and made her day I'm sure. lol. Then I went to work. Now I am tired, I feel disgusting and unorganized. I had fun though. And Monday, oh blessed Monday, I don't have any school, I don't go to work and I don't have drama practice for church. I can sleep in, do laundry, clean my room, get organized, paint my nails, work on projects, go on a walk, ride my bike, swim, and on and on it will go. I'm excited, yay.

Warning Notice!

2005-08-29T21:17:00.000-05:00

Ok everybody, as I am sure you all have come to realize, gas prices are fluctuating! As in they are going up! Not that they are not already up, but hurricane katrina is going to make them go up even more, 10-15 cents in the next few days, if not tomorrow, and I heard they could get up past three dollars! Insanity I know. Cruel and unusual punishment, yes. Get gas NOW!!! While you still have the chance. sigh. The last time I filled up my tank it took $28.00, when I first started driving it only took $20.00. When will the madness cease and desist? I dislike the economy.

I'm already sick of school!!!! grrrr.

2005-08-26T23:10:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty off day for me. The whole day I was sleepy, and I shouldn't have been because I actually got sleep last night. So I trudged on through the day in it's monotony. I don't care if school just started, it's already getting old. Now I like my classes a lot this year. Especially advanced bio. and Spanish 4. Those classes just zip on by. But, advanced mathematics and English just do not make me very happy. In fact I find it difficult to have a good attitude in those classes. So, that's all I'm going to say about that. Uggg, speech too, but we're not going there. So, as I said, today just dragged on and on and, well, on. sigh. Then I went to workout with Rebecca as I've been doing this whole week, but for some reason I was incredibly weak today, so I don't know what my deal is, we'll figure it out later. But tonight was SOOOO much fun!! I went to see Kelly Clarkson (who is a very good singer, by the way), some singers sound bad live, but she sounded really good. First of all we got lost on the way over and missed part of the warm up band, but that wasn't too big of a deal. When we got there though, we came in the wrong doors, and I was kind of surprised security wasn't a little better. But the doors we went in led to backstage. It was awesome! I saw backstage! lol. SO...we finally get to our seats which were a little back, but no one was really in front of us, so it made it better to see. It was great. Later in the concert I went up so I could get a closer picture of her, and I was about to get a really good one, but she turned around and a huge security guard tapped (more like thumped) on my shoulder and told me to go to my seat. That just sucked all fun right out of it for a moment. But then I got over it. So me and my sister just screamed and sang and basically acted crazy for the rest of the night. At the end we were jumping up and down, and it was fun. And now I don't feel so blah, although my head is not feeling the best. After waiting forever to get out of the parking garage we went to steak and shake and I got a coffee mocha shake. I highly recommend it. Anyway, that was my excitement for awhile, it's not looking too great from here on, but I will try to stay positive. So, I'll just leave you with--Shut your mouth, I just can't take it! again and again and again and again! YEAH!

One of those days

2005-08-21T22:27:00.000-05:00

Do you ever just have one of those days where you're just grumpy and get really upset pretty easily? Today I had one of those days. First of all I didn't get much sleep last night, so that could be a reason...but, really it was all my own choice today. This morning my Dad told me that we would be eating at mcdonalds for lunch today. Now I don't know why he told me this because I usually always have to ask him. But I think he knew I wouldn't like that choice so he wanted to make me upset (I'm kidding, he was just telling me for whatever reason) So I had already decided to have a bad attitude about it. In my head the whole time I was thinking that I should be more grateful, and have a good attitude. But mcdonalds sounded gross, and even though I was telling myself to be happy, I didn't listen. I pretty much stuck to being upset and unhappy. Which really doesn't make things any better but... So I wasn't even going to order lunch at all because I wanted to make a point...but after church ended I decided I was hungry, and even though I didn't want mcdonalds, I would eat something. So I had one of their new chicken sandwiches and it was actually pretty good. But I still wanted to have a bad attitude, while I still was telling myself I was being stupid. Anyway, thinking back on today, I have realized that getting worked up over stupid things like that is no good, it just puts everyone around you in a bad mood too. After we ate and everything, I felt kind of bad, so I need to ask forgiveness. And tonight I think I will try to get more sleep. the sun will come out tomorrow....sigh

Goodbye summer, I shall miss thee.

2005-08-17T22:22:00.000-05:00

All I've got to say is this: my summer went entirely too fast, and as much as I love my friends, I would rather see you all some other way. But alas , my life as I now know it is over, it's been great. sigh.

Survey-yeah I'm bored

2005-08-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

001. Name: Adrienne
002. Nick name: I don't really have one
003. Single or taken: single
004. Place of Birth: Indianapolis, IN
005. Zodiac Sign: don't know don't care
006. Male or Female: female
007. Your last name: Fortress
008. School: Faith Christian
009. Occupation: Student
010. Residence: Lafayette
011. Your sn: doesn't matter

__Your Appearance___
012. Hair Color: light brown, but I'm getting it highlighted in a couple of weeks
013. Hair Long or Short: in between
014. Eye Color: dark brown
015. How do ur nails look: short
016. Height: 5'1.5"
017. Do you have a crush on someone: No
018. Do you like yourself: it depends
019. Braces? used to
020. Think you're hot? no
021. Piercings: my ears
022. Tattoo: nope
023. Righty or Lefty: right

___Your 'Firsts'___
024. First Kiss: never been kissed
026. First best friend: Bliss
027. First Award: don't remember
028. First Sport You Joined: I tried volleyball in jr. high...lol
029. First pet: a cat named sambo
030. First vacation: probably Florida, but I can't remember
031. First Concert: Sawyer Brown
032. First Love: Jesus

___ Favorites___
033. Movie: A Walk to Remember
034. TV Show: Monk
035. Color: purple orturquoisee
036. Music: it varies from day to day
037. Song: Remember When it Rained
038. Food: Italian
039. Drink: right now, water
040. Candy: ughg, candy sounds gross right now
041. Sport: I'm not the biggest fan of sports
043. Brand Of Clothing: Old Navy or Maurices
045. School: Purdue
046. Animal: Horses
047. Books: mysteries or romance novels, if you can combine them, then it's a pretty good book
048. Magazines: Brio and Seventeen

___Currently___
049. Eating: nothing
050. Drinking: nothing
051. Mood: tired, bored and not looking forward to school starting...
052. Online: no kidding
053. Listening to: Just Want You to Know by the Backstreet Boys
054. Thinking About: everything
055. Wanting To: go on a walk, but it's dark outside
056. Watching: nothing
057. Wearing: shorts, a shirt, a sweatshirt, and glasses

___Your Future___
058. Want Kids? I don't think so, but it could change
059. Want to Get Married? maybe, haven't decided yet
060. Careers in Mind: interior designer, florist, accountant, landscape designer...I don't know

What happened to 61->66? who cares

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___
067. Cute or Sexy: cute
068. Lips or Eyes: eyes, but it's good if they have both
069. Hugs or Kisses: right now, hugs, later, I don't know
070. Short or tall: tall
071. Easygoing or serious: more easygoing, but both
072. Romantic or Spontaneous: spontaneous
073. Fatty or Skinny: somewhere in between those
074. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive
075. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
076. Sweet or Caring: both I guess
077. Trouble Maker or Hesitant: neither

___Have You Ever__
078. Kissed a Stranger: nope
079. Drank Bubbles: I've caught bubbles on my toungue
080. Lost glasses/contacts: no
081. Ran Away From Home: no
083. Got an X-ray: at the dentist
084. Broken Someone's Heart: I might have, but I don't know
085. Broke Up With Someone: yes
086. Turned Someone Down: yes
087. Cried When Someone Died: yes
088. Cried At School: yes

___Do You Believe In___
089. God: yes
090. Miracles: yes
091. Love At First Sight: that'd be cool if it happened, but I don't think it happens
092. Ghosts: no
093. Aliens: no
095. Heaven: yes
096. Hell: yes
098. Kissing on The First Date: no
099. Horoscopes: no

___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have? honestly...no

Decisions....

2005-08-09T23:04:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's only a week until school starts. I thought summer would never end and it would go on forever and ever and ever... But, it won't and it's just about to end. I have everything all ready for school and my schedule is now set and in place. Today was my last summer piano lesson today too. But I actually did ok with piano this time. I finished two songs, which might not sound like much, but they were fair sized songs. It's amazing what happens when you practice. lol. This week I also have to go to FMT practice everyday, and I am supposed to sing on Friday. Problem though, I didn't know about this little arrangement, and I am supposed to work on Friday too, and I didn't ask off. So now I have to decide who I want to upset: Mr. Heim, or my boss, Linda Jordan. And right now I am just not too sure on who I want to choose. This week I have also been finishing my room. I should have taken a picture of it because it seriously looked like a tornado had hit it or something. The problem with me, though, is that it has to be perfect or else I consider it a waste of time to even worry about it. I am weird like that and I know it doesn't make any sense, but when it comes to my room, I am a perfectionist. So, I will probably stay up late again tonight cleaning it which would make it the fourth night I have done so. It will be all worth it in the end, though, because I have a couple pictures, a poster, and one of those veil things to hang up. Plus, because I went on a few trips kind of close together this summer I unpack and pack but not ever completely unpack, so I have all this random stuff I need to find places for. I really need to hurry up and get on a schedule too, because my internal clock is completely screwed up. Probably because of the times I've stayed up so late to clean my room and then I don't get up until ten or eleven. It hasn't been like that all summer, just now that I have been having really late nights. So, as soon as my room is perfect, and it will be (at least as very close as possible), I am going to make a schedule and I am going to stick to it, somehow, someway. You know next year, for me, school is going to overwhelm my life, that's all I will be able to think about, with fairly difficult classes, piano, fmt, cheerleading, senior responsibilities, etc., etc. I am really not complaining about it, I just need to get myself all pumped up and prepared and ready to focus all of my attention on my responsibilities. Which means I need to cut out a lot of things that just eat up my time like TV, computer, etc. Which is hard, because I don't want to just do school, but for this last year, it's what I have to do. One thing about the school year that I hate is that my devotions really slip. During the summer, for me, it's pretty easy and I do them almost every day, but once school starts, I just make excuses and I get really off track, but school is no excuse so I am going to try my hardest this year. Well, to get to the title of my post, lol...is that I have been thinking a lot about colleges and stuff and where I want to apply to and all of that. For the longest time I thought it would be the coolest thing if I could some kind of interior designer or decorator, or work with landscaping or something. But my Dad has also been doing research and stuff and showed me that there wasn't much need for people with that kind of job. So, I thought I would think of a more practical career for me. My Aunt's an accountant and they kept going on on how it was a really good career choice for women and all that. And it is practical, you deal with numbers a lot I suppose, and I do ok with that stuff. That's why I was going to take accounting this year,to see if I could really consider doing that in college. But ever since high school began, I've wanted to get an honors diploma, and I don't think it does too much for you, but I was just once class short from getting it, so I decided to take trig. or whatever you want to call it. Let me tell you, I am not looking forward to that class. I took it the first part of last year without completing algebra and it was stinkin' hard. So I am hoping that now having finished algebra (lol), I will have more success. I just hope it doesn't bring my gpa down. There's just so many things to think about. So I am not taking accounting because no matter how practical it may be, it just sounds really really really boring. And hey, I can always take it in college if I want. But now I am seriously thinking about going into interior design, it sounds like so much fun to me and I don't really want to have a career anyway, just something that I could use. I don't know...I'll probably change my mind again, but for now that's what I am looking for. AAAHHH, I don't want summer to end, there are too many complications once school begins. But it should be fun as long as I keep a schedule, get enough sleep, keep up on my devotions, and stay positive, because this is it! I am going to clean my room now. lol.

"You"

2005-08-08T15:21:00.000-05:00

There's always something
in the way
There's always something
getting through
but it's not me
it's You, it's You

sometimes ignorance
rings true
but hope is not in
what i know
it's not in me..me
it's in You, it's in You

it's all i know
it's all i know
it's all i know

i find peace when
i'm confused
i find hope when
i'm let down
not in me ... me
in You
it's in you

i hope to lose myself
for good
i hope to find it in the end
not in me ... me
in You
in You
in You

it's all i know
it's all i know
it's all i know

in You
in You
its in You
its in You

there's always something in the way
there's always something getting through
but it's not me
it's You
it's You
it's You ....

~Switchfoot~

The very end of summer is beginning. ~sigh~ :(

2005-08-06T22:22:00.000-05:00

It's finally coming: school. I thought I was looking forward to it, but now summer just seems like it went so fast and is a pretty big blur to me. I don't want it to go, it makes me sad. But...I did go shopping, and after I get a few more things I will be mostly ready. I also got a new purse! And it's one of the coolest purses ever, it's kind of small though. oh well. My room is almost clean too. I stayed up cleaning it one night and was very proud of myself, but it is still not finished, it has to be perfect and it was a pretty big mess. Yesterday I went to Tirzah's party. It was fun. I came for about an hour and a half to just hang out and cook the big cookie looking thing. After that I had to go to work though, so I missed out on ballroom dancing, but later that night we danced anyway so I had fun. We probably didn't go to sleep until about five. Then we woke up and I was sweating and was sweating all day. But now I am fine. My grandparents also came today and stayed for a little bit, but I had to go back to work so I didn't see them too much. I am sorry, I am writing this and it sounds pretty boring. Right now I am hardly capable of thinking, but whatever. Pastor Leffew also called me today and we talked about my schedule for probably about ten minutes. And I still don't like it very much, but here's how it goes.

1st-Accounting
2nd-Senior Seminar which will be used as a study hall for gov. and econ.
3rd-FMT
4th-English 12
5th-Chemistry I
6th-Spanish IV
7th-Choir/Speech
8th-Microbiology/Anatomy or Advanced Biology, however you want to look at it

I still with I could take trig. because then I could get my advanced honors diploma, but...I am already taking gov./econ. by myself through some kind of packet thing, and well, right now it's frustrating me, but it should be an interesting year. I also can't take art and that makes me really sad. I love painting, maybe they'll let me do it after school...we'll see. Yay for senior year! I really am excited, I just might not sound like it. lol. I am tired, I need to sleep...yeah, I'm done.

Basket Land USA! (Ohio)

2005-08-03T14:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I said I wasn't going to use the computer for awhile or until school started again, but I lied, I am now using the computer and have been. Oh well, I have used it less. Anyway I know that about all I write about is my life, and for anyone who reads this might think I am kind of boring, but writing it all down gives me time to recollect and remember and stuff like that. Maybe I'll write other things too, but for now this is all you got. lol. This weekend I went to Ohio with my Mom and sister for this basket conference thing. My Mom sells Longaberger baskets so that's why we went. It was okay. I didn't go to all of the classes with my Mom so me and my sister went to the mall down there. My Mom let us go alone on the buses in Columbus so it was exciting-no parental supervision! hahaha. jk. In the nights they had these huge conference meetings which were pretty boring. But they did have these guys dressed up as huge bees that were funny and live music so it wasn't horrible. Just boring when the speaker spoke. We did a ton of shopping down there and got to see huge baskets and stuff like that. Down there they actually have a seven or eight story building shaped like a basket. It has handles too so when you come from the highway it just looks really weird when you come up on it. You have to see it to actually understand though. Then yesterday we went shopping at their complex and then went home. But first we stopped close to Cincinnati to go outlet store shopping. They say prices there are better, but I don't believe them. I got most of my school clothes all shopped for. We spent most of the time in Eddie Boughers (can't spell it), and Maurices. Fun times. Then on the way home my Mom decided to go on this highway instead of the interstate which took us all over the place. We went through cornfields (go figure), woods, small towns, wherever it went it was off the beaten track. I saw a bright yellow house with letters painted all over it and a guy walking alone in the dark in the woods at midnight. That scared me because we didn't see him until we passed him and it seemed like we almost hit him. We finally found our way back home and didn't get back until one thirty. Now I am tired and have a huge mess in my room and I don't want to clean it up. I also need to get off of work on Friday, but I don't know how that all will work out, I just want to be lazy. But laziness is evil so I will go do my duties. Sigh. Less than two weeks of summer left. I'm kind of excited but I will miss summer too. It's been really busy, and I thrive on busyness, sigh. Well, that's all, I will go now. lol.

This is it...for awhile

2005-07-23T23:38:00.000-05:00

The past few days I've been at cheerleading camp. No one ever EVER say cheerleading is for wimps. You guys have no idea what you are talking about it, and honestly it ticks me off when people are so down on cheerleaders. First of all we are in it to support our guys in basketball, it's not about us. Second we slave away trying to do this ridiculous things that any sane person wouldn't attempt, but we do it, and you laugh, makes me mad. Thirdly, we have to wear some not so wonderful outfits-not only to games but to school too. So please be nice to cheerleaders, we are people too, lol. So yeah, right now I am incredibly sore in every imaginal spot possible. But we went swimming yesterday with Heritage Hall (we had camp with them). They are really nice to you down there. I stayed at one of their houses with Erin, and they made us feel loved and welcomed. It wasn't too horrible in the end. Oh-we had two people from CCA come down to instruct us and stuff, and at first at thought they were mean. lol. They made us do all these exercises and the guy instructor looked like a mouse---mighty mouse. jk. In the end I was happy to be there..I think. Our squad (not team) is great this year and I love hanging with all of them. If you told me way back in jr high I would be cheerleader I would have laughed at you. I still don't see myself as a cheerleading kind of person, but whatever, life surprises you and that's just the way it is. So after we all got back from camp Rebecca, Erin, my sister and I all decided we wanted to go out to eat and see a movie. We just wanted to have some fun after being sore and all we never meant evil intent or anything. Anyway, we went to eat at Panera Bread (btw-their French onion soup is the best) and then we went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was ok I suppose, if I wasn't so tired I think I would have enjoyed it more, but Johnny Depp is really good and definently versatile, he was creepy looking though. It was an ok movie, just not the best but oh well. After that we decided to go to Starbucks because Hrefna had joined us, and we just talked for a little while. After that it was time to leave...this is where it goes down hill....way down hill. So I go to my car and well it's sorta not there. At first I thought someone had stolen it, but no, it had gotten towed. ARG! I was pretty mad. I already was exhausted and beyond myself and I just, well I took it better than the last time my car got towed (it was at Faith..my car was in the way of the Living Nativity..lol-whole nother story). There was this awesome girl there who had gotten her car towed too, so she called the company and just started yelling across the parking lot for others who were in the same predicament. At the end there was probably a good crowd of fifteen to twenty people who had their cars towed. fyi-never park in the parking lot behind wabash landing, bad idea, very very bad idea. So Rebecca's parents came to pick my sister and I up and drop us off at our house. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. And her parent's were really nice and very willing to give us a ride but I felt so bad. sigh. So, we get home and my Mom just gives me a look. She wasn't really mad because she had heard of stuff like this happening in the paper. Personally I think the whole thing is a crock, but I'm trying to have a good attitude :) I really am. sigh. My Mom took me first to an ATM machine because I had to pay in cash, and then we went to pick up my car. A whole $135. That hurt. So to warn you all and so you learn from my mistake, be very wary when it comes to parking. So that has been my last few days. Exciting..but not the kind of excitement I was hoping for. lol. Also, I have decided I'm not going to use the computer for awhile, maybe not until school. So, I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the summer. It's gone by so fast! I'm actually ready for school to start, and I'm excited about being able to have a schedule and not working in corn fields anymore! One last thing I promise. There's this situation that just came up today and someway somehow I got involved I don't know how exactly but it is so important. It's not directly involving me, but please pray I guess it's just a really big unspoken and it's important you pray, trust me. Happy summer everyone! :D

Corn (ugg!)

2005-07-20T22:13:00.000-05:00

Today I worked for the first time in the corn fields for this summer. The first day is the absolute worst, after that it gets better, but the first day is horrible! First of all I had to wake up at six to go to work at seven (in the morning of course). Then you go up and down rows shoot capping while dew drips down your arms and legs causing many irritations. Once the dew starts to dry we take down the corn that was set up the day before. Which was difficult for me because they gave me the tall corn, and I'm not tall. So I broke a few plants which caused irritations for my crew leader, but I couldn't do much about it. Also my crew is only guys, which means I am the only girl (except for my crew leader). Which is ok, but they go on these tangents about movies I've never seen and then start to play tag. Ok...tag? While we're in between rows of corn not running just tapping each other saying you're "it." Sorry, but I thought it was dumb. Corn does that to you though, it does lots of strange things to you. So we took down until lunch. By that time I had a horrible corn rash from rubbing up against the leaves and the oil or whatever it was injecting itself in me. Pollen was all over me, and for all those who don't know, I have lots of allergies. sigh. It's my fault, I probably shouldn't be working with my nose's worst enemy, but you do what you do. So lunch came. That was the high point for today. I had a wonderful roast beef sandwich and apple with rootbeer. Not that that's relevant, but it was my highpoint so I thought I'd share. lol. After lunch we set bags up on the corn which took awhile. None of this probably makes since to anyone except Tirzah, but she wasn't even there today. Then after we set up, we put yet more shoot caps on corn plants. So we were finished around four. I heard last week they didn't get done until five thirty, so maybe I missed the worst part of the season. But I just wanted to dedicate one post to corn since I spend countless hours staring at it. I really do think corn fields can be beautiful, but only if you are just looking at them, not studying them. Sigh, I hope my eyes and nose get better by tomorrow, and hey, at least after my sunburn goes away I'll be tan :) lol.

Oh I'm tired!

2005-07-17T20:14:00.000-05:00

Well I have finally arrived back home. It seemed like I was gone for at least a month, but only a week, I wonder what a month would feel like? However, it was absolutely wonderful, I had so much fun. The first day we went to the cheesecake factory and beach because we couldn't do much else with the time we had. I got a grilled cheese, and it was the biggest one I have ever seen my whole life. The rest of the week we held services and handed out flyers for ministry things. Some nights we sponsored family community days and handed out free hotdogs and stuff like that. It was so awesome. Man, just being down there puts a different perspective on life. One night we were doing a drama and a fight broke out. Our leader, Tabby, said that when the Holy Spirit moves stuff like that would happen. The little kids down there were beautiful, with there greenish brown eyes and perfect skin, and they were so excited when we told them that the lemonade was free. The very first service we had was amazing. We went to a small youth group on a Tuesday night, and just had worship and then did our human videos and skits. But at the end many came to the alter as well as our team. I don't think anyone left unchanged. God was so powerful this week and I was able to build friendships with people I hadn't really talked to before. Last night we had a little free time, so we went to Navy Pier in Chicago after eating in a two story McDonald's. It was the coolest McDonald's I had ever seen, it even had a escalator! Then we went to the beach and swam in all of our clothes! It was soooo much fun, even though I was freezing on the way back to the hotel. Today we had a service in an unaircondition rented out Jewish school that they used on Sundays for services. I seriously thought I was going to faint, and I got to the point where I stopped sweating, which I've heard is a bad sign. But I got past that and the service was great. I could tell so much more about this trip, but I don't think it would be as exciting to you as me. Anyway, this week was so much better than I had anticipated, and thanks so much for all you who prayed, I really appreciated it. Up next: cheerleading camp (:, ):, /: oh well, we'll see, lol.

A Long Time Coming

2005-07-09T15:46:00.000-05:00

So...I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A whole lot, and for some you may be thinking...oh no! But this is a pretty serious post so bare with me. It's also going to be a pretty long post too, so if you don't want to read it, that's cool, save it for when you're bored or whatever. I was thinking at work the other day (funny that's where I do most of my serious thinking) and anyway, here's kind of what has been going through my head lately. It really is long, you are warned.

As some of you might know, I'm going to Chicago next week for a short missions trip with my church. We're going to be doing human videos, and other drama things and probably a lot of things I don't even know about. We've been practicing since about February or March and have done a bunch of fund raisers and such. Anyway, as this week has gotten closer and closer the more I have thought about it, more things have gone through my head and right now they are kind of jumbled. At first I was like this is going to be great, stretch me even more, become closer friends with people from my church and stuff like that. But now that there isn't that much time left until I leave, I was a little nervous, apprehensive, whatever you want to call it. So, I've been praying a lot and just talking to God, and this is kind of what He spoke to me--

So I am at cash register number one today (as I am every day..sigh) and we are pretty slow, but this older guy comes in and you know I smile at him ask how he's doing and take his order. All he wanted was a cup of coffee, but before he left he gave me a tract. I've been given a tract before like when I go to big cities or whatever but it got me thinking. Do people see Jesus in me whenever I come into contact with them? Am I so much like Christ that it's physically visible? So, they might not specifically see Him in me, but shouldn't I be different? This world is dark but there is hope, and I'm supposed to be shining that hope, advertising it, making people want to know what or who it is that's in me. What if I can be a small light into there lives? What if someone has a horrible background, or just a lot of people against them, and maybe I'm the only one who treated them civil--like a real person for once. Ok so maybe none of this is making any since to anyone. But I'll continue. So we talk about all this stuff that is in our mind completely unacceptable (which they are), you know, the usual, drugs, alcohol, sex, smoking, abortion...the list goes on. But then I think, what hypocrites we are living in a self-indulgent state of mind. We go about our days finding ways to make life easier and more wonderful for us. What's going to make us feel better. Many times I'm afraid we really don't live up to our Christian name. Christian. Would Christ really want His name to be just thrown away casually from person to person. We go, "yeah I'm a Christian" And I bet many times Christ cringes when He hears us say. He says show them Me, you're my representative, my voice. We are Christ's voice! He's let us use His name. Of course He wants to use it, but we waste our lives away. We listen to the world's music, watch there movies, read their books, their magazines, wear their clothes, speak their language. Seriously, what are we thinking? We're supposed to be different right? But no--we blend right in. The worst thing is a lukewarm Christian. God said he would spew them from His mouth. And I shutter because I bet sometimes, if not most of the time, I am a lukewarm Christian.

You know, I've grown up in church my whole life, since I was born. I don't know much else. I go to a Christian school, all my friends are Christians, my family is Christian. And my parents sheltered me from so much. And I am grateful. But eventually, I slowly started to wonder to think, to have some questions. I now know what Christ meant when He said that you must have the faith of children to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Because as I get older, closer to "growing up" I realize more things. I've worked with non-Christians and I've just been exposed to more stuff that was beyond my reality I suppose. I've let things come into my life that I was never allowed to before. Not all bad, but definently not all good. Not all the music I listen to is Christian, and not many (if any) of the movies I have watched I can honestly say pleased God. Why do I let stuff like this fill up my life? What in the world am I thinking? I need to cry out to God and beg for forgiveness for His grace which I do not deserve. The God who gave His perfect Son to die for me. for me! His love is overwhelming and I couldn't bear to know how much I've hurt Him. I know I have. Me wallowing in self-pity, in laziness, in selfishness, complaining, ingratitude, I could continue. But He chose me still, He will always love me, and He will never give up on me. Why? I haven't a clue, I don't deserve Him.

People are out there searching for more, desperate for more. Families are broken up and ruined everyday, innocent children grow up faster than they should, some must learn to take care of themselves before they're even teenagers. In other parts of the world, starvation, decease, lack of shelter, and the cold are all facts of life. Pictures go through my mind. Don't these people matter? Didn't Christ die for them too? We've all seen something through commercials, church, whatever. We know what these people look like, we know what hunger looks like. I wonder sometimes, why do I waste so much time? I should be on my knees interceding for these people before God. You know what I'm doing instead? Sleeping in, watching TV, computer, swimming, working, almost anything and everything except talking to God and listening to Him. Selfishness has crept into my life, and I didn't give it a second thought.

What if all the Christians who claim to be Christians in the world started acting like Christians? like true Christians? It would be phenomenal. I believe a change would be evident. This world wouldn't look so bleak.

When I asked Him into my life I said everything was His. Did I mean it? Is everything really His? To be completely honest, I would have to say no, I've left stuff from Him. Stuff I'm afraid to let go of stuff that when it comes down to it I just don't trust Him to handle it. How prideful of me, it's shameful. Here I am before the God of the universe who could wipe me out in an instance saying "God, I just can't give you this, not yet..not now." He should just wipe me out. I'm so unworthy, and I'm so humbled whenever I think of the times I've rejected Him, forgotten about Him, left Him to wait until the end of the day before I gave Him any of my time, and then--oh does five minutes sound good? I am ashamed. God forgive me!

Stuff like this has gone through my head before and I don't know if it will affect those reading it like it is affecting me right now. Because right now I feel great pain and sadness, and I don't know if I can get that from me to you.

So, as God has brought all these thoughts to my head, and as He's spoken to me, I think I'm more prepared to go. I'm far away from perfect and He's still helping me get rid of the garbage in my life. As He's been showing me this stuff all apprehension has pretty much vanished. So pray for me next week, and my youth group, we need all the prayer we can get.

from Isaiah 55
5 Surely you shall call a nation you do not know, and nations who do not know you shall run to you, because of the LORD your God, and the Holy One of Israel; for He has glorified you."
6 Seek the LORD while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near.
8 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD.
9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.
10 "For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
12 "For you shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace; the mountains and the hills shall break forth into singing before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

Just another post...

2005-07-08T15:38:00.000-05:00

The last few days haven't been too hectic. Actually they've been kind of boring. Yesterday I went to piano, and I was really looking forward to it because I have been practicing everyday. So in my lesson when I played my song, I completely surprised my teacher, and for once I actually had a good lesson. So that was fun. Then I took my brother and sister out for lunch and then home. Except I almost got hit by a car and killed my sister! I was going to turn and I know I looked both ways, but I turn and all of a sudden I see this car screeching to a stop, and I bet he was calling me some not too nice names. But we were all safe and my car is undamaged all thanks to divine protection. Last night I got too talk to some people I hadn't in awhile and that was cool. After that I just stayed up and wrote a lot. I probably didn't go to bed until about 3:30. Sigh, but I'm not tired right now so it all works out. Then today I've done a lot of running around. I woke up watched some TV and then went to see Erin at her garage sale. She said she'd been selling a lot of stuff so that was good. Then I took my sister to a movie, donated some clothes to the Hope center, and went to get my allergy shots. If it had been later I wouldn't have come home but straight to work, but I had a whole hour of nothing to do, and I'm not much for waiting around. So I came home and decided to do this. Now I've got to go to work until ten. I kind of hope it's busy, it should be on a Friday, so I hope tonight it is. It's absolutely wonderful out today. Not so hot you have to use air conditioning in your car, but not so windy to put the windows down. There's nothing like the sun on your skin and the wind blowing through your hair. I think it's exhilarating, anyway I better go now.

Good times, great fun!

2005-07-04T23:44:00.000-05:00

A lot of things have happened this weekend, most of it consumed with work but it all turned out ok. On Friday I went to work and saw Hrefna. Saturday I went to work a little late and got paid...did I already write this? I think I did. Well, I just repeated it, you all will get over it. Sunday was the Fourth of July celebration thing at my church. It was fun, but went a little long. I ate lunch with Carolyn and Alysha and then helped set the sanctuary back up. When I got home Meg called and invited me over to her house for yet more food. So I went and swung on her hammock. Those things are fun, I think I want to get one for my room. Later Joe called and invited me to see a movie with him and some friends. So I met him, Jared, and some other people over at Lafayette 7 to watch Batman begins...or the beginning of batman...or batman in the beginning...something with batman and begin, but I can't really remember. I liked the movie, it was good, a little predictable, and the fighting scenes were too long but overall acceptable. So, that was Sunday. Then today I woke up around 8:30 or something like that. Went on a bike ride and walk. It was quite warm out and being out in it made me warm, but I survived and it was nice out. We had steak for dinner and after that it started to rain. Originally we were going to see fireworks but it was pouring hard and for a while we decided to skip it. But my Dad had bought this parking pass thing and didn't want to waste it so decided to go at the last minute. It didn't rain while we were there so that was good. We waited there for about an hour got elephant ears, and I took a nap. Then the cannons started going off and then the fireworks started. They were ok, not wonderful, but ok. Anyway, that has been the past few days.

Insomnia--Oh the horror!

2005-07-02T18:18:00.000-05:00

For the past few weeks I've had the most trouble going to sleep and staying asleep. I hate it. I can't figure out why, I've switched pillows like four times and during the day I have these horrible headaches. Which make me feel grumpy and not very nice. sigh. For example, last night I probably fell asleep at two after just laying there for about two hours. Then this morning I woke up at 5:15 and couldn't get back to sleep. So I decided to eat breakfast and go on a walk hoping I would feel a little better. So I did, and the morning was beautiful, a little cold at first, but beautiful none the less. I came home and just did whatever for a little while. The rest of my family was asleep except my sister and her friend (why they were up, I have no idea), but yeah. Then I fell back asleep. The only problem for me was that I had to work at 11. So at exactly 11:11 am my older brother came up and asked if I should be at work. I jolted up and got ready in two minutes precisely. The whole way to work I was speeding and looking out for any police that might be out there. But I got there and they weren't upset or anything with me but I felt like crap the whole day. And I am so sick of doing register, especially for six straight hours, but hey it pays, and I did get paid today! So that was happy, but I came home ate some leftovers and am now doing this. Hopefully I can go to sleep tonight, that would be beautiful. Anyway, I think I'm done. So yeah, whatever.

Long, long suvey

2005-07-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

I saw this on a couple of other blogs, so I was like why not...

What time are you starting this? 12:22 pm
Name? Adrienne Nicole Fortress
Nicknames? penguin
Date of birth? December 22, 1987
Sex? female
Height? 5'1"
Eye color? dark brown
Where were you born? Indianapolis, IN
Number of candles on your last birthday cake? 17
Pets? three cats, one dog, one fish, and a whole lot of rabbits
Hair color? light brown
Piercings? one in each ear
Town you live in? Lafayette
Favorite foods? bread, pizza, toast, chocolate, green bananas, etc.
Ever been to Africa? no
Been toilet papering? no
Love someone so much it made you cry? no
Been in a car accident? yeah...
Croutons or bacon bits? neither
favorite day of the week? Friday
Favorite resturant? Olive Garden
Favorite flower? irises
Favorite sport to watch? basketball and figure skating
Favorite drink? rootbeer
Favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate chip
Warner Bros. or Disney? Disney
Favorite fast food restuarant? McDonalds
Carpet color in your bedroom? light blue
How many times did you fail your driver's test? none
Whom did you get your last email from? Jon Lee...
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target!
What do you do most often when you are bored? listen to music and dance or do the computer or both
Most annoying thing to say to me? "I told you so"
Bedtime? whenever I get tired
TV show? Monk
Last person you went out to dinner with? my grandparents
Been out of country? Canada, Mexico, Haiti, and Jamaca
Believe in magic? in miracles
Ford or Chevy? Ford
What are you listening to right now? Do You Believe in Love-Huey Lewis&The News
Have you ever failed a grade? nope
If you have, what grade did you fail? none
Do you have a crush on someone? crushes are for jr. high
Do you have a bf/gf? nope
so, what is their name? -
How long have you been together? -
What are you wearing right now? shorts and a tank top
Would you have sex before marriage? No way jose!
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? nope
Are you a virgin? yes!
Do you smoke? no way jose!
Are you ghetto? I don't think so..not positive on what it means
Are you a player? no
What are your favorite colors? purple, blue, green, pink, tourquoise, aqua, any really, I love colors!
What is your favorite animal? horses
Do you have any birthmarks? one
Have you ever gotten your butt kicked? probably
Who do you talk to most on the phone? not really anyone, I'm not the biggest fan of the phone
Have you ever been slapped? yes
Do you get online a lot? yeah
you shy or outgoing? more shy...but I am working on it, I really am
Do you shower? yes, showers are good
Do you hate school? Hate is a strong word, it's not my favorite place, but hanging out with your friends makes it better
Do you have a social life? I try
How easily do you trust people? probably more than I should, I like to think the best
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? yeah
Would you ever sky dive? If you paid me maybe..
Do you like to dance? well, I would love to learn to dance, but I don't really know how to
Have you ever been out of state? yeah
Do you like to travel? I love to travel!
Have you ever been expelled from school? no
Have you ever been suspended from school? no
Do you want to get out of your hometown? sometimes
Are you spoiled? probably a little
Are you a brat? I hope not
Have you ever been dumped? yeah..
Have you ever gotten high? nosirree
Do you like snapple? it's not my favorite
Do you drink a lot of water? I should
What toothpaste do you use? Crest cinninmon rush plus whitening
Do you have a cell phone? yes
Do you have a curfew? yeah, but usually it doesn't matter
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point? both
What name brand do you wear the most? Old Navy
What kind of jewelry do you wear? two rings, and thats about it
What do you want pierced? I think I'm good for now
Do you like takin pictures? if the camara is easy to understand
Do you like gettin your picture taken? nope
Do you have a tan? It fades and comes back, just depends what day it is
Do you get annoyed easily? yes, I won't usually say anything until I just can't take it anymore
Have you ever started a rumor? nope
Do you have your own phone or phone line? my cell phone
Do you have your own pool? yes
Do you prefer boxers or briefs? I honestly could care less
Do you have any siblings? yep
Have you ever been played? I don't think so..
Have you ever played anyone? no
Do you get along with your parents? yes
How do you vent your anger? I play really loud music and sing along
Have you ever run away? I've wanted to, but no
Have you ever been fired from a job? no
Do you even have a job? two!
Do you daydream a lot? all the time...
Do you have a lot of ex's? not really
Do you run your mouth? that's not the problem for me
What do you want a tattoo of? tattoos are stupid
What do you have a tattoo of? nothing, absolutely nothing
What does your ex bf/gf look like? does that really matter?
What does your most recent crush look like? again, crushes are for jr. high
Whats her/his name?
Are you rude? not usually, at least I try not to be
What was the last compliment you recieved? my grandpa told me that guys don't know what there missing, lol, if that counts
Do you like getting dirty? it doesn't bother me, that's why I take showers
Are you flexible? flexible how?
What is your heritage? dutch, german, I think
What is your lucky number? 22
What does your hair look like right now? all back in a ponytail
Could you ever be a vegetarian? I don't see how that would be possible unless I lived on a deserted island where there was only nuts and fruit
Describe your looks? short, hair below my shoulders, dark eyes, not tiny, but not huge...yeah
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color? really dark or pink! lol.
Would you ever date someone younger than you? depends who it is and how much younger they are
Would you ever date someone older than you? depends on who it is and how much older they are
How many rings until you answer the phone? depends who it is
Have you ever been skinny dipping? no way jose!
If yes, when was the last time? yeah right!
When was the last time you went on a date? never really been on a date
Do you look more like your mother or father? probably my mom
Do you cry a lot? I really haven't for a long time
Do you ever cry to get your way? maybe when I was 5
What phrase do you use most when on the phone? Hey!
Are you the romantic type? sometimes, I believe in happy endings
Have you ever been chased by cops? nope
What do you like most about your body? my eyes?
What do you like least about your body? we're not going there
When did you have your first crush? when I was 11
When was the last time you threw up? a couple of weeks ago
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? brunettes probably
Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly? no
What theme does your room have? one wall is bright green mixed with blue and purple, the other wall is just purple, and I like to mix in whatever, I have some posters, pictures, everything, I like my room.
What size shoe do you wear? 7-7 1/2
How are you feeling right now? like I need to get a life
When was the last time you were at a party? May 13th
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you? I don't know
What is one of your bad qualilties? never being able to think of something to say
What is one of your good qualilties? I like to see the best in people, although, maybe sometimes that's not the best..
Would you marry for money? nope
What do you drive? silver Honda Civic 2001
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child? it depends on which parent I'm with
When was the last time you cried in school? last year sometime when I had to talk with Mrs. Leffew...yeah
What kind of music do you like? Christian, pop, adult alternative, soft rock, rock, classical, country, latin, celtic, almost anything
Would you ever bungee jump? if you paid me a whole lot of money and tested it out first
What is your worst fear? Ants, and being alone for the rest of my life
Would you ever join the army? I'd consider it, but probably not
Do you like cows? I like steak!
If you were to die today, what would you do? I would think alot about the time I had wasted, and I would pray, and talk to as many of my friends and family as possible
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die? to make the most of every moment, oh that's more than one word, I don't know...goodbye?
Do you like to party? what does party refer to?
Hearts or broken hearts? hearts
Moons or stars? stars
Coke or pepsi? pepsi, but they all taste the same to me
scent? the smell of the beginning of spring or fall
Favorite band? journey, foreignor, all american rejects, whatever I want to listen to at the moment
Would you ever dye your hair red? no
How many languages can you speak? does 1 1/2 count?
What time are you finishing this? 1:14 pm

Anything But Ordinary

2005-06-29T23:41:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that
I Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is this beautiful
accident turbulent suculent
I'm feeling permanent
No way I won't taste it
Dont wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby

~Avril Lavigne~

Practice makes perfect...yeah, yeah

2005-06-27T23:00:00.000-05:00

Today was not the most beautiful out. There was a pretty dense haze out. Makes me tired. Anyway, not too much has happened lately, sorry no more long posts for a while. I know, I know you all are terribly disappointed :] So today I concentrated my time to practice (hence the title). Piano is going ok, I could do a lot better I know...I'm getting there. Then today I had my first drum lesson! Actually it was insanely easy and just one of those introductory lessons. But hey, at least I have started! yay! Then I went to my church for a three hour drama practice. Actually about half the time we spend in prayer and worship so the practice isn't so horrible. We're almost ready for our trip to Chicago. Well, they are I've missed two practices so far and I'm a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Mainly because I have to give my testimony out loud in front of people, and I know that sounds pathetic, and it is I will admit. But I'm working on it, and trying to have a good attitude because I know it will be a growing experience, and I do need to stretch myself as much as I can anyway. I think the whole trip will be good, I've just got to get out of myself and think about the people I will be reaching. So yeah, that was my day. practice, practice, practice...

Today was St. Jean Baptista Day in Quebec!

2005-06-24T22:08:00.000-05:00

Well today was nothing like yesterday (thank goodness), and I am happy to say I stayed busy. First off I went to Meg's house to meet her and Tirzah. We talked a little and just did whatever for about an hour. After that we went to my house to see my puppy and kitten. Then we went to the Cove to meet Joe and Jared and this little obnoxious kid. But it was fun. We went smoothie king and ordered smoothes and then we went to Rebecca's. We surprised her so that was fun. I hadn't seen her since school got out. After that I raced home and put on my work clothes and went to work. Friday nights are so busy and I saw a couple of people from school so today was busy. I like busy, it's better than not busy. But now I am tired and think I will go. Goodbye.

AAAHHH!!! I am SOOO bored! ~sigh~

2005-06-23T16:34:00.000-05:00

I wasn't even going to post today, I had no intention of it, none at all, but I have nothing else to do. I can't get in the pool because there is no one home and you never know, I might drown or something. I can't ride my bike without taking my cellphone, and how am I going to carry a cellphone on a bike? I already took a walk, ate, did the usual chores, I even practiced piano!! But now, I am just bored. So I will just write what I did yesterday. Yesterday I woke up at 6:15 so I could go to the Bible study at school. I like it, and it's good, I was so tired that I could hardly think. When I went back home I was going to go back to sleep, but since I was already up I decided to go on a bike ride. After that I watched whatever was on tv for a little while then I met Hrefna and Erin for lunch. After that I went swimming with Hrefna and then we took a walk. I got home around five and found out we weren't going to church, so I took a nap until about nine, lol, I was so tired. So, I got up and got ready for bed, and went back to bed, and that was about it. Oh, I guess I could tell you all I got a new puppy and kitten on Sunday. We got a golden retriever and named her ccino, pronounced like ccino in cappuccino. I also found a lost kitten when I walked on Sunday trapped under some rocks, so of course I had to bring her home. My Dad said I could keep it if I paid for it, sigh, I need more money! Well, I decided to name her strudel, because that's the first thing that popped in my head. Yeah, so now I am living today, I'd take a nap but I am not tired, I'd clean my room, but it's not really messy, any suggestions? I'm out.

2005-06-23T13:22:00.000-05:00

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful.
You show the world what culture really is.

Who's" Your Inner European?

hummdeedummdeedumdeedo

2005-06-22T00:41:00.000-05:00

So, it's time for a new blog, I didn't think I'd really have anything to talk about today, but actually it happened to be a wonderful day! This morning I was so lazy. I think that is my one weakness I just cannot motivate myself hardly at all for just normal ordinary things I need to do. I will spend at least 1 hour to 1 hour and a half just playing stupid computer games or pacing in my room. Mornings I just don't want to do anything at all, I am dead to everything, so I waste them away and for that I am ashamed. I will have to work on that. So after the morning had ended I ate lunch and went to my piano lesson. Since I was gone a week I obviously didn't practice pretty much at all. I am so glad I can mostly sight-read or I would feel really bad. I really like the songs I'm doing now though. I'm working on ones by Steven Curtis Chapman and Josh Groban:), I'm also doing Pachable which is really beautiful (when someone else plays it at least, lol). So my lesson went ok and after I took a walk exploring different places and then got lost, fortunately my sense of direction isn't too horrible so I found my way back. But it was fun, I was in the sun and it was warm and beautiful, and I saw a couple cool cars too! yay! Today really did go better than what I expected. So I had to get home quickly after that because my Mom needed help taking all the pets to the vet. So, I let my brother and sister go so I would have time to leave for work. Since I had an hour or so of the house to myself, (except for my older brother), I decided I would have vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and chocolate chips. My Mom hates it when I eat chocolate chips because supposedly they are for cookies, but honestly, I prefer them cold and crunchy, there is just something about it...so, I just did random things for awhile totally entertaining myself...it was pretty fun. Then I get ready to go to work...worried face...... Last week I was gone but somehow they mixed up my schedule and wanted me to work last week, when I got home I had two messages from Culver's, both managers, and both not sounding too very happy, yeah, I wasn't so excited about working tonight, but I got it all figured out and it's all ok, I still have a job! That was a really long sentence, I am sure there are some grammatical errors. Anyway, Hrefna and Erin visited me tonight and I met their friend Dan too. He's going to the military in a week or something like that. It was fun and I talked to them a little, but I think my boss was getting a little annoyed that I wasn't working. At least it wasn't too busy, Monday's and Tuesday's never are. After that I went with them to Steak and Shake. We ended up dumping water on each other, but our waitress was cool and didn't really mind. So that was that. Then I started driving home....ahh...yeah, beautiful times. I don't think there is anything like a full moon on a cloudless night. I love it, for about 15 minutes driving home I just forgot everything...everything! Everything important, everything unimportant, just everything. Big things didn't seem so big anymore, I just felf wonder and, well I don't know but it was beautiful, and I didn't want it to end. I was all alone in my car listening to music, driving, not caring, not caring at all. Summer nights are wonderful when the moon is so bright that the dark doesn't seem so dark. The window in my room is awesome too because when I go to sleep the moon castes shadows across my room and it's so light I can hardly sleep. Moonshadow...isn't that a song? Well, anyway, today was so much better than I could have ever hoped for, and I am really trying to be positive in everything, it is so much better, it makes me smile and laugh, and I don't know but right now I am smiling and laughing, and it's really weird. Just thought I'd share, lol, hope you all are well, I luv ya lots! :D

Cancun, Mexico

2005-06-19T18:51:00.000-05:00

So this past week I have been in Mexico. It was absolutely beautiful, even better than the pictures you see in travel guides and such. I could probably write a really long time about it, but I will try to make it as short as I can. The first day we basically just arrived. The second day we went to a resort different to the one we were staying in to eat breakfast and hear a 45 minute lecture. Well, 45 minutes turned into six hours and I am not even joking. It was this guy trying to sell something to us that I don't even completely understand still. So while my parents were talking my and my brother and sister went and walked on the beach. The waves were fairly sized and I ended up getting all my clothes wet. It was fun none the less. The third day we went back to the same beach-this time in our swimsuits-and basically just stayed in the ocean. The fourth day we went to Chichen-Itza. It's the big Mayan ruins and pyramid you hear about in history books. It was pretty much in-land so it was rainy which wasn't the most perfect situation, but wonderful still. I climbed to the the top of the pyramid and by the time I got up there I wondered why I had decided to go up. The steps were really steep and I think there were 91 steps or something like that. The biggest problem I had was the fact that there were no guard rails, it was crowded, very very high, and I was in flip-flops. You could see miles around but, it still freaked me out. So slowly I began to go down in bare feet because I was afraid that I would slip otherwise. I'm glad I did it, it was still a bit scary though. After that we went to eat supper at some local Mayan village. The food was ok, and they danced a little too. You could definently see different culture. Dogs just ran around anywhere and most of the buildings were run down. People tried to barter with you while you were there too which is ok, but it makes me feel really bad because I can't get stuff from all of them. The fifth day we just laid out at the pool reading books and listening to music. Later that night we went to the mall and met a guy who paints with his forefinger only. It was pretty cool because he let me see how he did by taking my forefinger and using it to paint. So that was cool. The sixth day we went on a yaht (however you spell it). I figured it would be fun, you know go out on the ocean to go fish-no problem. But I got incredibly seasick and it was mostly just four hours of torture because after I got sick, the rest of my family excluding my dad got sick. Well, we fished anyway and caught quite a few. Later that night after we had all recovered we went to the restaurant and had them cook the fish for us. It was pretty good. The seventh day we painted little pottery figurine things. I really liked it, it was fun and my fish turned out beautiful after the guy there fixed it. A little after that I went parasailing. It was a lot of fun, and I went up really high. I'm surprised I didn't get weirded out, but it was fun. On the eighth and last day we waited around a lot because our plane didn't come until six in the evening. So we decided to eat at the Rainforest Cafe. It's the coolest restaurant ever, well, I like it anyway. Probably because I ate there when I was little. Then we shopped at the stores nearby. The whole vacation was wonderful, weird using pesos instead of dollars and being surrounded by Spanish, but that was fine. Some things were weird and it's a lot different that good ol' Indiana, but I liked it maybe I'll go back someday. Now I must fix problems with work (ggrrr...they screwed up my schedule, and hopefully won't fire me...ggrrr), get ready for corn and Chicago and stuff like that. Real summer will now begin. Sorry about the length, hopefully it wasn't too boring.

An Interesting Blog and I'm Off!

2005-06-10T23:14:00.000-05:00

Actually, this might not be an interesting blog at all, but doesn't it make you want to read it? haha. This week has been fabulous, except for the humidity, it does crazy things with my hair. Let's see, what did I do this week? hmmm...I went to work, oh and how exciting that has been. Let me tell you, I have met some odd people while working there. Today someone asked me how I could stand working sober...well...news to me, obviously people come to work intoxicated. I was just like ummm..very easily. Honestly, how can you be so desperate to drink before you come to work and during work and just whenever. I am just now realizing how many people really do smoke and drink, and I don't necessarily want to think less of them, it just makes me sad, because there is more out there. If I offended anyone by that I am sorry, I really am, and drinking might not be completely horrible in moderation, but smoking is not the smartest in my opinion. I just don't want all of you to think that I think these people are evil, I am just very unaware of everything around me, so I apoligize if i offended anyone again. Actually stuff like this has been going through my head a lot lately. I am just realizing how wicked and horrible this world is, and its not just mere smoking, drinking or whatever, like I have just been hearing more and more, more than I ever thought I would know, stuff I didn't even know existed, and it makes me want to puke and it makes me want to cry, and I don't know what to do about it, and it makes me scared because right now as I am typing this and there are people out there ruining their lives and giving up, and desperate, empty, and I want to do something so bad, but I am such a coward and I make myself sick. I wasn't even thinking this when I started typing, but now, I don't know It is just all so complicated and I know I can pray, and I do, but...oh, sigh. Pray for me, I need courage. What's wrong with me anyway? Now the first part of this blog doesn't even run together all that well. Oh well, I don't think many of my blogs run together well. On a lighter subject, this week has been mostly uneventful, but I have succeeded in finishing my room, almost. My closet is now color coordinated so that is definantly improvement. I've discovered that I wear way more pink shirts than green or purple, and I don't even like pink that much, well, I do, but I like purple more. Also, we have a puppy reserved for us to pick up in about one week. And as excited as I should be, I am not excited at all, in fact, I would rather just not get another dog, especially the same kind we just had. That is just me and I wish I was different, but well, maybe I'll change my mind when she comes...maybe. I've also had the weirdest dreams lately. You know when you fall asleep and the radio or cd is playing and you start to dream the song. Let me tell you, I don't think I have had weirder dreams, maybe I'll tell about them later, but I'll save myself the embarrassment for now...lol. Oh, I got my senior pictures ordered this week, that was kind of cool, now I don't have to worry about that for awhile. They said they were putting my picture up at wabash landing sometime, and I am just not too sure how I feel about that, but whatever. So now all that is left is packing because I am leaving for Mexico tomorrow!!! I am really excited, maybe I can improve my Spanish. They said it was supposed to rain a lot of the time while we're down there which is kind of a bummer. But, I don't think I've ever seen rain on the ocean, it might be kind of cool, I can go to the ocean while it is raining! It probably won't be that bad. So, this has been a long post, and subjects have varied a lot so I am sorry if I confused you all. Maybe I'll post pictures up when I get back if I can figure out how to. Anyone want to tell me how? lol. Anyway, I really hope you all have fun next week, and I will talk to you all later.

I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe

2005-06-08T23:23:00.001-05:00

Nothing too exciting has happened lately, so I just thought I would put another song on here. Last year I did this in a human video with my church, I think this song is awesome, it makes you think...

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

Shopping For Swimsuits (followed by major groanings...grrr)

2005-06-04T22:40:00.000-05:00

Today was ok. I woke up and ate a huge cinnamon muffin. It was good, but not so good for you at all. Oh well. Anyway, we purchased tickets to go to a Kelly Clarkson concert in August, so that's exciting. So after that I went to the mall so I could get swimwear for vacation and cheer camp and all of that wonderful stuff. It is so incredibly hard to find that item of clothing, I don't think I will shop for it for a long, long time. OH well, I got a few suits and that will be that. Then tonight I went to work. I really don't mind it anymore, nice people work there now, so it's not bad at all. Except I always get custard all over myself. Anyway, besides all of that I have nothing to write about so I will now depart goodbye.

Sunshine on My Shoulders Makes Me Happy...

2005-06-01T01:21:00.000-05:00

Today was another astonishingly beautiful day. I have to say, summer is my favorite season. When I was little I hated it because I would always get too hot and it was not very comfortable, but now, I like it and don't mind being warm so much. This morning was great, I just watched the birds and played stupid computer games while I slowly sipped my coffee. I then decided to get dressed and go on a bike ride. I think riding my bike is one of my favorite things ever, especially when going down huge hills. It is exhilarating! Today I also started piano lessons back up. Oh dear, I have got to find a way to get better at playing soon or my parents will just be wasting their money. Any tips? After my lesson was over I had to wait on my brother and sister to have their lesson, so I just went up and down streets and found many new and exciting places. lol. SAT scores came today too, I don't know how I did really, probably not that well, but I don't really know how to compare to whatever. oh well. I then went home to get ready for work. It really wasn't that bad tonight, we've gotter a lot of new workers so it's been fun. And I got new work pants!!! I was really excited because I haven't gotten new pants since two years ago when I started working there. They had stains from custard and were too short and everything. Oh, I work at Culver's in case anyone was wondering, and if you ever want a banana split, mine are the prettiest, I've never had one before so I don't know what it tastes like, but at least mine look the best! j/k Anyway, it was another absolutely beautiful day, and I've been in a really good mood for a long time now, something must be wrong with me. haha.

The Indy 500

2005-05-29T22:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, so today it finally hit me, summer vacation is here! HOORAY! I'm excited. So, today I went to the Indy 500. It was really exciting and there were lots of fast cars. For the first two hours being there you don't really see cars or anything, but Three Doors Down was there and played a couple songs and other semi-famous people were there. It was fun, lots of fun. Once the race had finally begun all of the stands vibrated, it was soo loud! yay. I was going for Danica Patrick, who was a woman rookie. She was in first place the last few laps, but in the end came in fourth, which is really quite good if you think about it. So, I saw lots of cool fast cars today. I think I could get into car racing...maybe that's what I'll do when I graduate...hahahaha. Anyway, it was really cool and the crowd was insanely huge, we all looked like ants. The only bad thing was people who smoked...grrrrr....it makes me so mad, and it's rude, and I probably just lost a couple years of my life breathing in their pollution. There was also a lot of drinking and the guy behind me was very drunk, hopefully he didn't drive home. When we left you couldn't walk two steps without bumping into a beer can. Whatever, the race was awesome and now summer has officially begun!!

It's Over!

2005-05-27T22:58:00.000-05:00

I started off today getting up at the insane hour of 4:30am. I have spent the last couple of days with Erin and helping her move and such. She's coming to Lafayette to stay!! And she has a really cool house where you can throw toilet paper over the banister. So, we wake up and go get coffee and come to school, basically. We sit through an absurdly long awards ceremony where you watch, and sit, and start falling asleep, but that's ok, because it's tradition and it wouldn't be the same without it I suppose. Somehow I got perfect attendance, which I thought was odd but that's ok. We honored all the teachers who are leaving, and it made me really sad when Miss. Wiebe came up. I thought she was the coolest teacher except for her insanely hard English exams. After that we played the traditional games followed by the traditional cookout, followed by the traditional handing out of report cards. How exciting. Actually right now I am exhausted and when I say this all in my head it's in a monotone so please forgive my lack of enthusiasm. After school was over, I went with Meg to walk around Columbian Park and then to the mall. It was fun. I then went to pick up my sister from her eighth grade party thing. At school I got to park by a really cool corvette. I took a picture of it and it is now wallpaper on my phone. I just thought I'd share. Then tonight I was terrorized by many little kids. Not that I don't like kids, but when they hit you, kick you, pull your hair, beat on your back and throw beads everywhere, it gets obnoxious. I was kind of tired too, so the whole night was a haze. Well, I think that's all. Yay for senior year! It really doesn't seem like it though, whatever.

A Perfectly Wonderful Day interrupted by Sporadic Moments of Stupidity

2005-05-23T23:44:00.000-05:00

Today was so much fun. Seriously, I can't imagine having any more fun on a Monday than I did today. I had History and Algebra exams today and they went ok I thought. I can do algebra but it gets a bit tricky when they jumble all the different things together. After that I went to the gym to get icecream. The icecream itself was actually disgusting and grainy and, yeah, but I got zero demerits!! YAY! It isn't truly that big of a deal, but I haven't had zero demerits for a whole year since seventh grade. And after that I always got them for dress check (grrrr). But this year I got none--zero, zippo, nada, haha, yay for me. After I gathered all my many belongings and walked quite slowly to my car, I sat in it for awhile. Hrefna eventually came out and we decided to go to Starbucks together. I got espresso because it was cheap. Little did I know what it actually was. It was so strong I probably used half of their half and half and about all of their sweetener. You should know I was wide awake for the rest of the day. Since Starbucks is in Target, we decided to look around until I had to leave. Of course, me being who I am, went to the purses. Now I am not trying to be so excited about them as I have been in the past, but right now they have the coolest purse there. Eventually I will get it, after I work more. So, I went home and changed into a more comfortable attire. I then gathered all of the things I would need to study, some music, and well, that's about it. I went outside because it was so gorgeous. It was my favorite kind of day, and I could of stayed out there forever, I would be there now, but it's dark. Anyway, I just lied on my front sidewalk and periodically looked at my notes. Basically, however, I sat there completely happy and relaxed in the marvelous sunshine. If anyone missed today, I am very sorry, it was beautiful. Occasionally insects would disrupt me and ruin my concentration, but for the most part it was a perfect day. Then I went inside to eat dinner (I had been out for probably five or six hours). The problem with me is that I don't think things through enough. I just go, hoping for the best. Well...there was one thing I forgot...sunscreen! Stupid sunscreen. So, if you haven't figured it out yet, my skin is now of a reddish tint and I feel rather warm. Normally, I would get over being sunburned, but this time I am so mad at myself. You see, tomorrow I am getting my senior pictures taken. Six-seven outfit changes, 39 poses, etc. So now because of my stupidity, I think I have to wear sweaters tomorrow, unless a miracle occurs. I am the biggest idiot I know. Later tonight I went to church to try to learn how to dance. Ok, everyone laugh now, because I am horrible!! My feet get all tangled up, and I go forwards when I should go backwards, and it is just not a pretty sight, at all. I have been really happy today, despite my sunburn and uncoordinated steps. I suppose I am doomed to happenings such as these for the rest of my life. Oh well, at least today was beautiful, and the wind blew and it smelled really good outside. Therefore, right now I am rather on a positive note. I think I'll stop now.

Today

2005-05-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

Ok, so today was not that bad for the most part. Mixing up the schedule at school keeps it less boring. Although I prefer a nice fixed schedule where you know exactly what will happen next. Eagle fit wasn't as bad as everyone said it was. All I did was walk, which was perfectly alright with me. I even got a white ribbon for it, yes!! Well, everything was ok and happy except for periodic expectoration from Joe. I don't even know if that's a word, but whatever. Then I got home and my Mom said that Libby (my dog) had died. She just had a heart attack or something. I remember her acting a little weird last night, but I didn't think she was sick or anything. It made me sad, and I wanted to cry. I probably will later. So, after that I took a walk. It was really nice outside. Whatever, so yeah, that's about it.